Pre Election Issue

Well tomorrow is the election day in the Unites States of America, also know as the USA (or Unilateral Stickmen Anonymous). So here is my Pre-election analysis. John McMcain (Johannas McStikk) is leading in Utah. Barack Obama (He who houses terrorist sticks) leads in everything else. Ralph Nader (Loozerman) is running for the 62 time as an independent (random scream in the background). Bob Barr (13013~13@55) is ignored, as is his party the legalize-everythingers. Chuck Baldwin (Hi-yah Charlie) is the constitution party canidate. And the Greens have Cynthia McKinney (Not Ralph). The Vice Presidents are Sarah Palin (Kanyikay) for Johannas McStikk, Joe Biden (not-plumber-joe) for He who houses terrorist sticks, Matt Gonzales (Who is this Guy?), for Loozerman, Wayne Allen Root (Country Time) for 13013~13@55, Darrel Castle (Knight Errant) for Hi-yah Charlie, and Rosa Clemente (Pink Orange) as Not Ralph's veep. None of the other parties matter. Now for my fast paced predictions.

If He-who-houses-terrorist-sticks wins then New Sweden will be over run by racist, über-conservatives looking for a safe place from his evil, liberal views. America will be over run by Non-profits and Wall-e will come true. Israel will be wiped off the face of the Earth.

If Johannas McStikk get elected then he will
A-Nuke Russia, Iran, China, Mexico, Bulgaria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, New Sweden, France (Yes), Germany, Japan, Belarus, Australia, Belgium, Canadia, Panama, Georgia, Mongolia, West Virginia, California, Denny's, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Poland, Pakistan, Indonesia, Thailand, United Kingdom, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Iceland, Björk, Your house, Chicago, Iran, Cambodia, Laos, Malaysia, Brunei, Saudi Arabia, Mali, Ghana, Rwanda, South Africa, Syria, Venezuela, Brazil, Argentina, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Chile, Bolivia, Columbia, Kazakhstan, Portugal, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Iran, Oman, Yemen, Qatar, Kuwait, Alaska, Jordan, Egypt, Algeria, Russia, Azerbaijan, New Sweden, Jamaica, Cuba, Bermuda, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Hatti, Slovenia, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Romania, Moldova, Serbia, Kosovo, Montenegro, Bosnia and Hertsogovia, Croatia, Italy, Iran, Libya, Sudan, Botswana, New Zealand, Namibia, Mozambique, Angola, Ukraine, San Salvador, El Salvador, Nicaragua, (I move my hand away from the keyboard to reload the missile silos), Iran, Zambia, Democratic Republic of Congo, Republic of Congo, Peru, Ecuador, Antarctica, Madagascar, Equilateral Guinea, Papa New Guinea, East Timor, Japan, Burma, Singapore, Monaco, Malta, Ireland, Denmark, The Netherlands, Tanzania, Kenya, Fiji, Morocco, Vatican City, Chad, Iran, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Somalia, Bahrain, Armenia, Hungry, Liechtenstein, San Marino, Andorra, Maldives, India, Samoa, Tonga, Togo, Central African Republic, Burkina Faso, Turkey, Niger, Nigeria, Mauritania, Guinea, Swaziland, Lesotho, (I look up more countries) Senegal, Western Sahara, Burundi, Iran, Djibouti, Comoros, Malawi, Russia, Mauritius, Uganda, Zimbabwe, Seychelles, Cameroon, Gabon, Côte d'Ivoire, Tunisia, Namibia, Cape Verde, Guinea-Bissau, Pakistan, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Solomon Islands, Vanuatu, Middle Earth, Federated States of Micronesia, Kiribati, Nauru, Pulau, Tuvula, Iran, and any place I forgot to mention, but Israel and the United States of America.
Plan B- He-who-houses-terrorist-sticks becomes a sucide bomber and blows up Johannas McStikk. Then President Kanyikay will create a world government, make an allience with aliens and safely ship everyone of Earth before 12/21/2012.
Plan C- All liberals move to Canadia and get nuked. HAHAHAHA

If Loozerman becomes President a paradox will happen and the World will end 13 weeks 22 hours and 15 minutes early.

If 13013~13@55 becomes president then some idiot will move to New Sweden, sell me the keys to the US Armoury and me and 13013~13@55 will become friends. He will make sure the government won't intervene when America is invaded by Canadia, New Sweden, Russia, Mexico, and France at the Same time.

If Hi-yah-Charlie becomes president then America will be sucked into a black hole and the void will be filled by Mexico.

If Not Nader becomes president then Loozerman will suddenly suck out the life force of Not-Nader and morph into Dynamite Boy, the Crash Test dummy. It will be cool.

New Sweden endorses 13013~13@55 but prefers that you don't vote at all. Voting is bad you know.

This Post was sponsored by: People for Partisanship in Families and the National Mid-Western American Terrorist Farmers Council. Thank You and have a nice day.