Busy

I am busy. But I am here to remind you that the Swedish Festival has started. Head over to the carnival. and we will have some very special guests. Plus I will have an autograph session everyday. Just come and find out. Or if you can't come, wait for the Carnival Report at the end of the Carnival. Any citizen of New Sweden, Sweden, Finland or Fiji gets in free. Everyone else gets in for a daily ticket of $2 for 8 and unders, $3 for 8-18 and $5 for adults. Seniors get in free. As do toddlers (2 and under). But if you are a citizen of Canada, Norway, Russia, or USA, you have to pay $5 per person, no matter what age they are. Tickets for the whole event are selling for $40 each. They give you unlimited access to the fairgrounds until the Carnival is over. That's all folks. Carnival ends December 28.

Incredibots

Found this cool physics simulation game. Here is an example of what you can do.
http://incredibots.com/?robotID=438921
It is a four player battle game. Hope it works.

Here is the game itself.



I like the dark knight level. You find it under load bot. Plasy aroung with this game. Have fun.

Annoucements

The Swedish Fish Festival will begin on December 19, 2008 at 8:15AM and will last until 11:15 PM each day until December 28,2008. It will be held at the Carnival Grounds near the Royal Palace. Everyone is invited. There might even be a special guest. Or two. Or three.

The Short Story contest will end on January 7, 2009. Send in your stories. Please keep them publishable.

Greshkhan will be back soon with part two of his article of Vampyrs. Look forward to it.

Remember no more chocolate. Swedish Fish is where it is at.

The wise guy is back from the Himalayas. He says, "Wise Guy's Warning: Loaded guns may be hazardous to your health."

Share your Hatred

Comment on what you hate. Then we laugh and tell you to go get a life.

What I hate

1. Unpublishable Elvin Oathes who think they are better than I
2. America
3. Pirates
4. The Common Demon
5. "Revel Monkez" (It is a band)
6. Dirk the Jerk of West Eaty-fourth Street
7. Negitive People
8. Idiots
9. Insignificant people (that means you Titan-Slayer)
10. you
11. Lucky Charms after people have removed all the Mashmellaz
12. Ugly People

SO now post what you hate.

The Epic History of The Wyrm News, New Sweden and All that Matter: Part 2/36+

The Epic History of The Wyrm News, New Sweden and All that Matter: Part 1/36+ - The Demon-Slayers.

The Demon-Slayer are a group of elite humans that have vowed to save the world from Demons. They were created in BC 3272 in the aftermath of a great massacre by demons. It was formed when some elves walked up to the seven survivors and granted them semi-immortality in exchange for an oath to fight the Demon Scourge until we were killed. There are now to councils of Demon-Slayers: The Grand Council and the Greater Idiots. The Grand council is composed of the six remaining original Demon-Slayers (one left us for the Demons), with me being the Head. The Greater Idiots are composed of the twenty people that are still alive that we made into Demon-Slayer. The are led by the Greatest idiot in the World: Titan-Slayer. He can't even kill a demon. Only Titans. Titans are easy to kill. It is a fancy way of saying big drunk guy. The Greater Idiots follow the command of the Grand Council. Since the Demon have been in Retreat for about the last 300 years we have been keeping peace throughout the world and readying it for the next invasion. The members of the Grand Council are (not real names and with positions): Mythos Wyrm, head of the council, eldest member of the Demon-Slayer, Representative to Australia (though I don't Stay there) Lord of New Sweden, with the webdings symbol of % ; Sercatha, Vice-Head of the Council, Representative in South America, and Official Cook with a symbol of ,; Greshkhan, Monster-Hunter, rep to Europe, and Librarian with the symbol, Ls; Crynearg, Treasurer of the Demon Slayers, Asian Rep and Trainer of the n00bs, with a symbol of ~; Ferdirend, African Rep, explorer, muscian, and blacksmith with a symbol of @; and Annawyn, North American Rep (sucker!!), assassin and master juggler with a symbol of !. They Great Idiots don't matter. That is enough for know.

I told you so...

Well He-who-houses-terrorist-sticks chose Hillary Clinton as his Secretary of State. So my prediction was almost right. He chose someone even worse than Osama Bin Laden. Hilliary Clinton is evil. And a Walmart Executive. She probably worked for Disney too. Obama should have chosen Monica Lewinsky if he couldn't choose Osama Bin Laden. That would be a slap in the face for Clinton. And Clinton (the other one) probaly would hang out at the White House way too much. Next I told people to protect thier oil. Then $100,000,000 of oil was stolen. I told you so. Well that is all for this post.

Vampyrs

Well I have something important to tell you about kids. In all seriousness I am going to tell you somethings that may save your life. See I am the Resident Vampyr-Slayr of the Demon Slayers. Vampyrs are the followers of demon who have sacrificed their life for the secret of immortality. They may also be someone who is under the control of a vampyr. A Vampyr Lord is a vampyr who has control of more than five people, animals, or other living things. The type of Vampyr that is formed when a Vampyr takes control of a person is also called a Zombie. Of course that is misleading as a zombie is also the animated dead, a person under their control of a witch doctor and more. There are 5 ways to kill a Vampyr. The first one is to stab the vampyr in the heart. This way is advised as it can be anything that stabs them in the heart, as long it is pointy. But if the object is removed too quickly, it gives the Vampyr time to heal itself, so the object should not be removed until you know the Vampyr is dead. Silver items work the best for reasons explained later. The body should be burned. The second way to kill a Vampyr is by beheading it. This way is easy, fast and fun. The head and/or body should be burned promptly in order to prevent crazy followers from sacrificing themselves to raise the Vampyr. But it is not required as the Vampyr is killed. The third way is to burn the vampyr. This is fun and of only medium difficulty. Vampyrs can be burned in many ways. Holy water works as does normal means. Even a magnifying glass works, though it is ineffective due to the fact that you must burn a substantial amount of the Vampyr so that it dies. The fourth way is shoving holy water down its throat. This is hard an ineffective, though fun. The holy water burns holes n the digestive system so that the Vampyr digests itself. The fifth way is to starve it. This is hard and requires many months of work, combined with candles, holy symbols, garlic, consecrated dirt, silver boxes, and a holy(wo)man or exorcist. Once the Vampyr starves it loses the ability to control its minions and be immortal. It ages to the age it should be in a matter of minutes. The body doesn't have to be burned unless the body doesn't start decomposing in the attempt to catch up with time. If the Vampyr lives after the aging process than it will remeber nothing of its vampyr life. No need to kill the poor person because there will be no way for it to become a vampyr again. The sixth way is to bombard the vampyr with images of donuts using your mind. This is extremely effective but very hard to do. It also makes you hungry. The Vampyr needs life force to survive. Because they can't suck it up psychically, they must suck it up physically. This means sucking blood. They don't like blood with garlic or holy water in it. As a Vampyr has less life force it becomes weaker and has a harder time healing itself. When a Vampyr sucks enough life force out of someone they can leave it to die, or turn that person into a Vampyr type 2, or Vampyr Zombie. These Zombies follow the every command of thier master. They too need life force, but they can't hold as much of it and they are weaker. Also when a Zombie sucks enough life force out of some one they don't gain control of the person. Instead control instantly goes to the Zombie's master. The more followers a Vampyr Lord has, the more life force it has, as it can steal some life force from its minion anytime it wants, no matter where the minion is. This makes killing powerful Vampyr Lords extremely difficult. Vampyr can enter any building they can break into, though it is easier if they open the door but they can't magically go through doors. Light does not hurt them and they can cross running water. They can not enter a holy area. This makes Vampyrs extremely uncommon in the Papal States, which isn't that important since the Papal States are a great .17 square miles large. Things that you should have to defend yourself from Vampyrs are: garlic( they don't like the smell or tatse), a holy item( example:Cross, Crescent Moon, Star of David, a saint's anklebone etc), holy water (burns them with a burn that like silver, they can't heal with their "magic") a pointy silver object( like a knife, steak, stick, bar watch, pointy cross etc), matches and gasloline (to burn the body), and some sort of candle or incense. There are more things for you to know, but I must reveal them in a later post of: Defence against Monsters By Greshkhan.
-Greshkhan

Postponment and other Notices

The Short Story contest due date will be extended until after the Swedish Fish Festival, which is coming up soon. Chocolate will be allowed for the next seven days in all of New Sweden. But once those Seven Days are up, no more chocolate may be brought into the country and all chocolate must be eaten. There is no need to thank me for this generosity. Due to shortages there will be no Salt Pork in your rations this week. All military officials are to report to the Grand Palace tomorrow at 9:27 AM, precisely for a meeting. The hungry thieves contest is still on Schedule, so don't miss it. Finaly all I can say is I told you so. More on that later.