Announcements

The UZGNS would like to remind everyone that photographs of the captured rainbows are forbidden due to their sensitivity to light. The induction of Olaf Thorson as the Governor of Silver Plats will be held at noon on Friday. Be there or be a regular quadrilateral. Magic testing will begin for all citizens over 8 years old on August 15th. You must sign up for some time between then and September 21st. Also, Harry Potter is currently forbidden. A new correct translation will be provided soon. Finally the Wise Guy has some words for us. They are: Bio mechanical Engineering of the spleen can be painful if performed by an unlicensed surgeon.

Jätte

The Jätte, or Giants, are a group of spirits that are the physical manifestations of the emotions anger and hatred. They are create when one of these emotions is being abused in a high magic area. From there Jätte can reproduce like a human. There are many types of Jätte, created by differences in the intensity of the mother emotion and the form of magic that creates it. The types of Jätte are, Frost Jätte, Mountain Jätte, Fire Jätte and Titans. Mountain Jätte are your generic giant, large (approx 25 feet high with a ratio of height to body size like a normal human) and hairy. Frost Jätte are much shorter (averaging 15 feet tall) and less hairy. Frost Jätte are known for their ability to breathe icy winds and freeze things in ice by touching them. Fire Jätte are about the size of Frost Jätte and have no hair, their bodies being covered in flame. The flames one their head might look like hair though. Fire Jätte can breathe fire and throw fire balls. Titans are the largest of the Jätte. They grow up to about thirty feet high. They are as black as midnight and have broad shoulders and no hair but a lightning yellow beard and tall lightning yellow Japanese anime looking spiky hair. Titans are masters of electricity and are very tough enemies. They are not from the demon world. The titan Gerolf, despite popular belief is not from the demon world, never went to the demon world, and did not defeat me. I just let that idiot Union Leader fight him to see what he was made of. Jätte be killed with conventional killing means, like humans. Except for the fact that Fire Jätte cannot be burned, Frost Jätte cannot be frozen and Titans can no be electrocuted. Bashing the Skull of a Jätte in has been proven effective though by my Friend XXXXXXXXXXXX Ferdirend, called Þórr in the old legends. Other effective measures include decapitation and poker. Jätte are very prideful and often commit suicide after losing large sums of money to games of chance. Despite the fact that hatred and anger are becoming more common then ever in our world the Jätte population is decreasing because magic is becoming more and more rare in our world. But explanations of magic are to come later. Jättes are said still to be found in Yellowstone, Alaska, Hawai'i, the Himalayas and other remote areas like that. No Titans have been reported in 700 years, since the death of the last Wizard. Next up: Semi- Turcks, ferocious man eating beasts also known as Jassinarries.

The Ubernational Zoological Gardens of New Sweden present...

...Rainbows. Here at the Ubernational Zoological Gardens of New Sweden, we have learned how to capture and care for rainbows. For a limited time you can adopt one. At the small cost of €350 you will receive a certificate saying that you have adopted a rainbow, the chance to name your rainbow and the good feeling that you have supported this mind bending ecological effort. As many of you know, the rainbow is a highly endangered organism known for its extreme beauty. Little is known about their biology but thanks to us, and your contributions, more can be known. There are only 20 rainbows to be adopted currently so get yours today. Also Public feedings are at 7:00 and 17:00 o clock daily. Thank you.

Your loving Friend,
Sven Svenson
Head of the Ubernational Zoological Gardens of New Sweden (UZGNS)