Health Care

In case you didn't hear, the Americans happened to pass a bill recently. I can't remember what it was about, but I think it had something to do with overtaxing people, and bleeding them dry for the sins of a few. I am no quite certain what it is about, but it sounds pretty bad. Like end of the world bad. I need to check the great prophecy though. Never mind. I don't think that it is the Great Prophecy. So it isn't the end of the world. Oh well, its been a while since I have fought Demons. Now onto the main topic. Assuming that the recently passed bill was a Health Care bill, then I will give my version of it. Not The current situation in New Sweden, but my version for America, Canada, Norway and other people I hate. Ahh wait But first, I guess it cold be the end of the world, depending how you interpret verse 12. If Washington is the obelisk, and health care is the lightning, then letting this bill be passed would be a quandary for the country. Except for the fact that Buushkhaneta was very literal and probably meant that lighting would strike an obelisk somewhere. Back on topic. Here is my plan, written in less than 1000 pages.

Health Care for Sucky Countries

1) Doctors cannot be sued for malpractice, but only if they accept a pay limit of an Unspecified amount, and donate at least 6 hours of their skills to charity every month.

2) Barbers are now allowed to let the blood out of their patients. Everyone knows the cure for depression is bleeding out some black bile. Carpenters are now allowed to carry out amputations and surgery.

3) Doctors must now join a guild to create a practice. All doctors must pay back their student loans before they can enter a guild. They must find their own way to get that money, like perhaps working at someone's practice.

4) Insurance companies are now unneeded, as is insurance. If you need money for something medical, you can take a loan from the Gov, which can be payed back either through money or work.

5) No more easy access medicine. If you have a headache, you can either wait in line for days to get one from a government store house, or you can get trepanned by your local shaman.

6) No more unnecessary tests. If something unnecessary and money wasting is done, the person who decided to authorize it will be given 40 lashes by the cat o'nine tails.

8) People can learn to suck up pain. Painkillers will be under so strict control, the pain will be kill be waiting before you get some.

9) The government reserves the right to shoot people in the head if they are felt as unneeded, no questions asked.

10) If all else fails, and spending is too high, we can combine costs and send sick people to fight our wars. That way our health treatment is combined with our war costs.

Self Help Book- Chapter 2

Chapter 2- I ran away from an Oppressive dictatorship, and now live in a Ghetto without speaking the language.

Wow, you commie. There is no such thing as an oppressive dictatorship, only oppressed subjects. You can not be oppressed if you don't let yourself become oppressed. The reason that you have problems is because you fall in class 2, people who think they have problems but don't because they live in a fantasy world. You have no legitimate problem, so we will address no answer. Now get back to your fatherland and make yourself useful.

Self Help Book- Introduction and Chapter 1

I keep on receiving letters from people telling me that I should help the world and publish a self help book. Well I decided to do that and now for a limited time only, you can read it before it is published, or even sent to the Publishers!!!! Ready for it. Here it is.

Get a Life:
Why you should help your self instead on relying on others, you whining pig!!!!!!!

Introduction

You might be wondering why I, An awesome demon-slayer, benevolent dictator, linguist, and Professor of Demonology at His Majesty's the Royal Supreme High Lord Sir Justice Mythos Wyrm University, would be concerning myself with you pitiful mortals and writing a book to solve your problems. Well they answer is I am tired of you asking for my help. So I am writing something that will end my problems once an for all. It is broken into three parts: Why you have problems; Why you aren't solving them; and How to solve them. Now let us start.

Part 1- Why you have problems

Chapter 1- I live in my mom's basement and am ranked #1 in Halo 3 online

Good job looser. Now get a life. See you fall under the first category of the people with problems, you are slothful and want people to solve your easily correctable problems. Well why should we solve your problems. See the reason you have problems is because you secretly want to have problems. You cause them yourself so that people will feel sorry for you. Guess what, they don't. We see you, laugh and then play Parcheesi. We don't feel sorry for you. Get out of the basement, breathe in some fresh air and join the marines, you don't have any real problems. And I will kill you one of these days!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!