Peace Talks

You might be wondering where I have been the last month or so.  This time it wasn't jail, or Mongolia.  I have been in Cairo working on peace talks with the United States.  Though the meeting are to be confidential until 2013, I may tell you the terms we agreed to.  I am to stop insulting the Americans.  I am to have a better human rights record, meaning no more torturing terrorists (hypocritical Americans, wait I didn't mean that.  Americans don't torture terrorists, anymore).  I am to stop stealing oil from Norway.  I am to hold elections in July.  Fair Elections.  What do you mean our last elections weren't fair?  I am to build a missile defense program to protect my people from Russians.  I am to quit saying that I am an immortal Demon Slayer.  I am to stop promoting obesity by holding the Swedish fish festival.  I am to stop attacking Sweden.  I am to let people come freely into my borders.  I am to join the EU.  I am to stop my use of the þ and the ð.  I am to add the Star Spangled Banner and America the Beautiful to my music on the Wyrm News.  I am to allow people to make decisions.  I am to force Floppy+Bros to make America Overpowered  I WW3, the New Swedish Way.  I am to suck up to America like the rest of Europe.  I am to be the example to the rest of Europe by becoming the 51st state of America.  Wait I wasn't supposed to say that.  In return I will not get invaded by America.  If you are wondering how they got me to agree to these things I must say that I am not allowed to disclose the fact that I was deprived of sleep, water boarded, drugged and had my signiture forged.  Well that is why I have been gone.