- Massive Army Attacks New Swedish base and captures Grand Emperor to take him away to be tortured by corrupt officials attempting to take over the world through use of the evil weapon known as the United Nations. (oh wait. That happened.)
- Bhutanese Scientist creates and army of Chuck Norris clones and attempts to overthrow the King of Nepal but is stopped when his nuclear reactor had a meltdown.
- Barney the Dinosaur was murdered in a gang-fight on the streets of Beverley Hills.
- Aliens invade New York city, rename it New Puttsburg and start a pizza chain.
- Cat marries dog, then is shot on honeymoon by a robotic assassin following the religion of Froggerism, who was hired by Mr Barney, who was killed in a fight only hours later. (Barney that is).
Now time for a picture
And now some qoutes: Note we don't agree with all of them but they are still funny:Þ (thanks amusingqoutes.com)
- We’ve all met people who are supposedly incredibly intelligent but don’t know which way to sit on a lavatory. -- Stephen Fry
- Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. -- Mark Twain
- Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. -- Benjamin Franklin
- Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. -- Benjamin Franklin
- A man explained inflation to his wife thus:'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.' -- Lord Barnett
- As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it. -- Sam Ewing (Readers Digest, Dec, 1997)
- Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. -- J. Paul Getty
- Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. -- Ronald Reagan
- Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo. -- Bill Maher
- Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. -- P. J. ORourke
- The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back! -- Will Rogers
- One of my movies was called "True Lies." It's what the Democrats should have called their convention. -- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material. -- Dave Letterman
- [On his running for California Governor]It's the most important decision I've had to make since 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax. -- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference. -- Harry S. Truman (circa 1962)
- Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. -- Robert Louis Stevenson
- A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. -- H. L. Mencken
- You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. -- Milton Berle
- The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order. -- Brian Pickrell
- There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. -- Frank Zappa
- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits -- Albert Einstein
- Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -- Albert Einstein
- How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg. -- Abraham Lincoln
- History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. -- Napoleon Bonaparte
- Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal. -- Demetri Martin
- Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. -- Bill Cosby
- Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you. -- Ray Romano
- Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off. -- Ralph Bus
- The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. -- Quentin Crisp
- Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. -- Demetri Martin
- It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. -- Muhammad Ali
- In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues. -- Helen Rowland
- You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. -- Chris Rock
- A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. -- Jerry Seinfield
- People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. -- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
So hope you laughed smirked or at least thought something was funny. You id right.
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