Thanks

I thank all of the people who attended my Lecture. It was awesome, you must say, especially the exploding PETA members. Remember, eating vegetables without meat increases the likelihood of exploding. Finnally thank you Swedish Woman's Olympic Curling team for beating the Canadians at their own game. Even though many, including I, don't think it a real sport, you still won, which is good. See everybody soon.

Chicken Hunt

There will be a country wide chicken hunt on Friday January 22. Your goal will to be to catch as many specially marked chickens as possible and bring them to the palace by Tuesday. There will then be a party with lots of fried chicken and fun. Even door prizes. Everybody is invited. Remember, chickens must not be hurt. Nor may other competitors be hurt, but you can steal their chickens. Prizes for the people who bring back the most chickens. All PETA members are invited to attend, but if the competition is interfered with in any way, there will be severe consequences.
You have been warned.

Gůíd Lúk and háv fún, maë évél cü löjół cúbđékc.

The Ubernational Zoological Gardens of New Sweden present...

...Rainbows. Here at the Ubernational Zoological Gardens of New Sweden, we have learned how to capture and care for rainbows. For a limited time you can adopt one. At the small cost of €350 you will receive a certificate saying that you have adopted a rainbow, the chance to name your rainbow and the good feeling that you have supported this mind bending ecological effort. As many of you know, the rainbow is a highly endangered organism known for its extreme beauty. Little is known about their biology but thanks to us, and your contributions, more can be known. There are only 20 rainbows to be adopted currently so get yours today. Also Public feedings are at 7:00 and 17:00 o clock daily. Thank you.

Your loving Friend,
Sven Svenson
Head of the Ubernational Zoological Gardens of New Sweden (UZGNS)

Peace Talks

You might be wondering where I have been the last month or so.  This time it wasn't jail, or Mongolia.  I have been in Cairo working on peace talks with the United States.  Though the meeting are to be confidential until 2013, I may tell you the terms we agreed to.  I am to stop insulting the Americans.  I am to have a better human rights record, meaning no more torturing terrorists (hypocritical Americans, wait I didn't mean that.  Americans don't torture terrorists, anymore).  I am to stop stealing oil from Norway.  I am to hold elections in July.  Fair Elections.  What do you mean our last elections weren't fair?  I am to build a missile defense program to protect my people from Russians.  I am to quit saying that I am an immortal Demon Slayer.  I am to stop promoting obesity by holding the Swedish fish festival.  I am to stop attacking Sweden.  I am to let people come freely into my borders.  I am to join the EU.  I am to stop my use of the þ and the ð.  I am to add the Star Spangled Banner and America the Beautiful to my music on the Wyrm News.  I am to allow people to make decisions.  I am to force Floppy+Bros to make America Overpowered  I WW3, the New Swedish Way.  I am to suck up to America like the rest of Europe.  I am to be the example to the rest of Europe by becoming the 51st state of America.  Wait I wasn't supposed to say that.  In return I will not get invaded by America.  If you are wondering how they got me to agree to these things I must say that I am not allowed to disclose the fact that I was deprived of sleep, water boarded, drugged and had my signiture forged.  Well that is why I have been gone.

Vulcan Of Sweden

We have done it. Located on the New Swedish coast is the largest artificial volcano. Thousands of tonnes of steel, rock, cement, and more have created an 8,000 foot high volcano with lava in its crater. Climb to the top and go to the visitors center up there before March 31, 2008 to recive a free t-shirt that says "I climbed Mount Wyrm" and a free plate of Swedish meatballs. Remember this is only a tourist attraction, not a government facility cover up. Visit us today.

-The New Swedish Board for tourism and Entertainment

वे हवे दोने आईटी. लोकातेद ओं थे न्यू स्वेदिश कास्ट इस थे लार्गेस्ट अर्तिफिसिअल वोल्कानो. थौसंड्स ऑफ़ तोंनेस ऑफ़ स्टील, रॉक, समेंट, एंड मोरे हवे क्रेअतेद अन ८,००० फ़ुट हिघ वोल्कानो विथ लावा इन इट्स क्रेटर. क्लिम्ब to the टॉप एंड गो to the विसितोर्स सेंटर उप तेरे बेफोरे मार्च ३१, २००८ to रेसिवे a फ्री टी-शर्ट ठाट सय्स "इ क्लिम्बेद माउंट व्य्र्म" एंड a फ्री प्लेट ऑफ़ स्वेदिश मेअत्बल्ल्स. रेमेम्बेर थिस इस नोट a रियल टूरिस्ट अत्त्रक्शन, बुत a गवर्नमेंट फसिलिटी कवर उप. विसित उस टुडे.

-थे न्यू स्वेदिश बोर्ड फॉर तौरिस्म एंड एन्तेर्तैन्मेंट

12/20/07 :Þ

"Autocracy is great... when you are the autocrat."
-The wise Guy's Mouth

Also the title's date will know be the date in Sweden when it has this symbol in title :Þ

News

Yesterday (Tuesday) the first annual New Swedish Empire Swedish Fish Festival took place, the first day of ten. The events began promptly at 8:15 AM (Stockholm Time) and it ended at 11:15 PM. Please forgive us for having this article coming out so late, but it was reporting staff's duty to clean up the fairgrounds before reporting on this fun-event. It began with an awesome speech by his Majesty, Lord Mythos Wyrm. Then the fun and games began. At noon exactly the Mile-swim the Fish began, where contestants would have to swim one nautical mile in lake covered with Candy fish!!!!!!!!! The winner was Karl Gustaf. Congratulations Stefan. Also there was the Swedish Fish Artillery shoot, an event were people build cannons out of cardboard tubes and other materials, fill them with gun powder and attempt to launch there Swedish fish (filled with a motion tracking device) the farthest. The winner has not been announced yet. There were many other events full of action, too many to be named. Check out next time for the rundown of the festival, and don't miss tomorrow's parade. You will finally be able to see the general military uniform. It might be Surprising. Until next time.