4th Annual Swedish Fish Festival!

Well, its that Time of year once again.  Yup, its the Swedish Fish festival.  It started on the 18th, and the last 6 days have been a blast!  However, just because you missed the first half doesn't mean you can't come now, since the festival continues until the 28th!!!!  And this year it is completely free!!!  Thats right, there are no entrance fees!!!  So come over to the Imperial Palace grounds today and have fun at the Swedish Fish festival.

Annoucments

McDonald's are now illegal. Please bomb them if you see one. There will be movie critics training on February 9, at the Big Ol' Theater. Chocolate is leagal until the 18th of February. Have a nice day.

Jelly Voles

Do you want to eat a jelly vole? They are the next Swedish Fish. Almost as good, but way awesome-er. Buy some today.

Vacation

I do not have time to report on the Swedish Fish Festival. I must leave now. They are after me. I will be back hopefully after He-who-houses-terrorist-sticks takes over the regime. I must see some old friends, Now. I will explain la...

The Scumbag is dead. Long live The Orgainzation. Long live Heinrich Von Kathar. Death to the True Evil Empire. Wait, how do you change the labels? I wonder if this is the button that does it. Yes I think it is. Hey your supoosed to be dead. Don't press that bu...

Busy

I am busy. But I am here to remind you that the Swedish Festival has started. Head over to the carnival. and we will have some very special guests. Plus I will have an autograph session everyday. Just come and find out. Or if you can't come, wait for the Carnival Report at the end of the Carnival. Any citizen of New Sweden, Sweden, Finland or Fiji gets in free. Everyone else gets in for a daily ticket of $2 for 8 and unders, $3 for 8-18 and $5 for adults. Seniors get in free. As do toddlers (2 and under). But if you are a citizen of Canada, Norway, Russia, or USA, you have to pay $5 per person, no matter what age they are. Tickets for the whole event are selling for $40 each. They give you unlimited access to the fairgrounds until the Carnival is over. That's all folks. Carnival ends December 28.

Annoucements

The Swedish Fish Festival will begin on December 19, 2008 at 8:15AM and will last until 11:15 PM each day until December 28,2008. It will be held at the Carnival Grounds near the Royal Palace. Everyone is invited. There might even be a special guest. Or two. Or three.

The Short Story contest will end on January 7, 2009. Send in your stories. Please keep them publishable.

Greshkhan will be back soon with part two of his article of Vampyrs. Look forward to it.

Remember no more chocolate. Swedish Fish is where it is at.

The wise guy is back from the Himalayas. He says, "Wise Guy's Warning: Loaded guns may be hazardous to your health."

Postponment and other Notices

The Short Story contest due date will be extended until after the Swedish Fish Festival, which is coming up soon. Chocolate will be allowed for the next seven days in all of New Sweden. But once those Seven Days are up, no more chocolate may be brought into the country and all chocolate must be eaten. There is no need to thank me for this generosity. Due to shortages there will be no Salt Pork in your rations this week. All military officials are to report to the Grand Palace tomorrow at 9:27 AM, precisely for a meeting. The hungry thieves contest is still on Schedule, so don't miss it. Finaly all I can say is I told you so. More on that later.

Canada Invades the United States

The Canadians decided to invade Cleveland after getting tired of its civil war, which we got tired of too after the first battle. More information when we find more.

12/20/07 :Þ

"Autocracy is great... when you are the autocrat."
-The wise Guy's Mouth

Also the title's date will know be the date in Sweden when it has this symbol in title :Þ

News

Yesterday (Tuesday) the first annual New Swedish Empire Swedish Fish Festival took place, the first day of ten. The events began promptly at 8:15 AM (Stockholm Time) and it ended at 11:15 PM. Please forgive us for having this article coming out so late, but it was reporting staff's duty to clean up the fairgrounds before reporting on this fun-event. It began with an awesome speech by his Majesty, Lord Mythos Wyrm. Then the fun and games began. At noon exactly the Mile-swim the Fish began, where contestants would have to swim one nautical mile in lake covered with Candy fish!!!!!!!!! The winner was Karl Gustaf. Congratulations Stefan. Also there was the Swedish Fish Artillery shoot, an event were people build cannons out of cardboard tubes and other materials, fill them with gun powder and attempt to launch there Swedish fish (filled with a motion tracking device) the farthest. The winner has not been announced yet. There were many other events full of action, too many to be named. Check out next time for the rundown of the festival, and don't miss tomorrow's parade. You will finally be able to see the general military uniform. It might be Surprising. Until next time.