11:11

Its 11:11 here.  Just had to say it.  Yeah, I am working on some issue in SA, but will return to New Sweden soon.  I need to leave now, so bye.

Its been a while

Ja, it has been a while since I have been here.  However the reason is multifold.  Firstly, I have been clearing up some issues in Colombia, but those aren't important.  The main reason is that I have been working on my autobiography/memoir thing, in an attempt to share my story to the world.  Hopefully I will find some sucker to publish it when I am done, and I will be able to share my story to the world.

I am back, and I have so much to say

So I have just returned from a little incident in Fúkjatx ot Mlózvkk zvkKlvkjats, and I find that a lot has happened over the last few months.  Protests erupted over the Middle East and North Africa, and Libya was invaded.  Some pretenders to the throne got married and a terrorist was assassinated while under the protection of a nation that was supposed to hunting him.  There was an earthquake in Japan that cause some people to freakout about nuclear meltdowns.  And since I am sure that you want me to start commenting about these events and more, I won't.  There is something much more important to be talked about  and that is the upcoming Sweden vs Finland ice hockey game for the gold medal in the IIHF World Championship.  Go Tre Kronor!!!!  Beat those Finns back to their sorry wasteland!  Döda dem!!!!!!     

4th Annual Swedish Fish Festival!

Well, its that Time of year once again.  Yup, its the Swedish Fish festival.  It started on the 18th, and the last 6 days have been a blast!  However, just because you missed the first half doesn't mean you can't come now, since the festival continues until the 28th!!!!  And this year it is completely free!!!  Thats right, there are no entrance fees!!!  So come over to the Imperial Palace grounds today and have fun at the Swedish Fish festival.

International Elections

It is time to cast in your ballot and vote me the new Dictator of the world.  Voting is only for this month, so you better vote for me.  Thank you for voting.

Analysis of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

I recently viewed the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1.  While I usually avoid reviewing movie, I felt that this one deserved a review from my enlightened being. 

Overall it was a very awesome movie.  Meaning this movie struck awe into me.  The awe being fear of how such a large and powerful studio could make such a terrible movie.  As some one who demands a ratio of 1 death, maiming or interesting action to every 10 sentences of dialogue, this movie did not meet my expectations.  Also I found the movie very unrealistic.  A girl of 17 would not be running around forests with teenage boys killing people.  She would be in her husband's kitchen, making food and fighting with his other wives.  The makers of this movie clearly were making some sort political statement, trying to fight for women's rights.   And that ginger clearly doesn't understand his place in society.  He is a lowerclass farmboy.  He should have realized he would never achieve greatness.  This is another offensive political statement I found in this movie.  The list of other statement goes on but these were the most important.  I must leave now, but overall, just pirate the movie.  It isn't worth your money.  Plus you will support Singapore's economy by doing this.

Thank you for reading this message.

Hellhounds

Hello folks.  Its me, Greshkhan again.  And today I will be teaching about hellhounds.  Hellhounds are creatures not of this world, but of the Demon World.  They evolved from dire wolves that ended up in the Demon World when our worlds split some few million years ago.  As such they are not magic beasts like Jätte.  They are just the result of an evolutionary process.  Unfortunately for us the world they evolved from is much harsher and more magic filled then ours.  As such they are much fiercer, stronger, larger, smarter and more magic resistant then the wolves of our world.  They are usually about the size of large wolves or small horses, the largest subspecies can reach the size of large horses.  The coat of a hellhound is very magic resistant and it is almost impossible to kill a hellhound with magic.  Neither the Demons nor us Humans have managed to tame the hellhound, but the Demonking did manage to magically enhance one, making it larger (it is almost 1000lbs and is in a size proportional to this), smarter (it can speak various languages, including Old Norse), stronger (it is almost impossible to hurt) and fiercer.  This hellhound is currently in our headquarters (XXXXXXXX) and it took much effort to catch it, even resulting in ᛏ(TXX) having his right hand bitten off.  But this shouldn't concern you.  What should concern you is what to do if you meet a hellhound.  To put it simply you better pray that it doesn't notice you, isn't hungry, or is nice.  Or else you better have something to fight it with.  Your fists won't cut it out, as they can easily bite them off (Ask ᛏ about that), and then they can tackle you and eat you.  Having a weapon such as an axe (which is the best weapon by the way), spear or sword will be helpful.  Guns are extremely helpful when it comes to killing hellhounds, but arrows may not be enough to kill one, at least initially.  Luckily hellhounds usually do manage to wander into our world, and when they do they are usually killed either by us or by commoners who are fed up with the killings of their livestock and families.  Famous hellhounds include the Beast of Gévaudan, and Hróðvitnir.  Have a good day.

Post Election Analysis Revisited

So I was re-reading my post election analysis from November 2008, and realized I got a lot of things wrong.  For one, all the fascists stayed in America, or moved to France.  Secondly I don't think McCain has retired, and I don't think Bush is a motivational speaker.  I can't talk about the things that haven't happened yet, like the war with Germany, and I don't know who is running in the next election.  Also I said that Obama's approval rating would be in the 50s by the end.  Its already below that.  He definitely helped ruin the economy though.   And while he didn't choose Bin Laden for his Secretary of State, he sure came close.

3rd Anniversary

So I missed the Wyrm News's Third Anniversary.  I am somewhat annoyed by that.  In fact I am very annoyed.  So I am going to do something special very soon.

Happy Leif Erikson Day

Time to celebrate one of the many discoverers of America that deserves recognition, not the stupid Christopher Columbus.

Atlantis, Lost Civilizations, and more lies in the truth

I have heard many stupid things in my long life. Its one of those things that happen when you live for a few thousand years. While the ignorance about Stonehenge is one thing that annoys me, another one is the lies told about Atlantis.

To begin: Atlantis never existed. In our world that it. What it is simply the reflection of the largest city in the Demon World, Ghörhltæqhwihkhåððýfûq (literally Great City of Hothy in Archaic Eastern High Demon), in our world caused by an imbalance of magic between our worlds. When there is a large magical burst of energy there, the city seems to appear in our world, over the corresponding coordinates in our world, and it reflects until the magic dissipates (these magical bursts happen in other places too, but that is another story). This causes problems when people see the reflection and think it is real. And that is how Atlantis came into being. Yes, all the stories you have heard about Atlantis are false.

What about the other "lost continents" you might ask. Here is a rundown. Hyperborea and Thule are just other names for the various islands in the North Sea. Mu is a non existant and just a story. Good Ol' Lumeria suffers the same fate as Mu. Not everything is a lie though. The various ideas of Shambhala, Ergenekon, Shangri-La, and other such places were rooted in fact. This fact was the Morcanian (English transliteration for their culture) civilization.

While I could fill books about the Morcanians, in short they were the humans that interacted the most with the other worlds. They lived in what is now the Steppes of Mongolia and Siberia, arriving there around 42,000 BM (Before Mythos). They spoke a language related to modern Ket. They were herders and lived as nomads. One tribe, whom I will call the Morcanians nomaded themselves into a demon outpost around 30,000 BM. At this point the Demons had not organized themselves into civilizations and were living as tribes. The city of Ghörhltæqhwihkhåððýfûq was only a small farming village at this point and the Great Lord Apocalypse was only beginning his life. This outpost was simply a place were one tribe was watching for its enemies without realizing that they were in the wrong world. To make a long story short, this tribe was kidnapped and kept as hostages for the next 32,000 or so years. When they finally freed themselves and returned to our world (In 2321 JU (In the Year of Our Lord)), they brought with them the mystical bone of Terror and a dialect of the Northwestern Low Afrit language. They created two large cities once they returned to our world, both known for being far more advanced than any other. It was these cities that created our idea of an ancient, peaceful, technologically advanced civilization that eventually was destroyed by its pride. But that is another story, for another time.

International Elections, My Nomination

I am pleased to announce that I have been nominated to be the new dictator of the world. Please vote for me. Thank you.

International Elections Overview

It has come to attention that many people have not heard of the International Elections before. This is very sad, as they are not using their right to choose who will be mercilessly killing them over the next five year. So here is a general overview.

Every five year there is an international election during the month of December (Gregorian Calendar). During this time people can go over to the nearest electoral agency and vote for their candidate, or they can send in their vote through the mail. Anyone can run for the position of Ruler of the World by write in, but in order to be on the official ballot, you must: be at least 25 months of age; be able to speak English, Mongolian, Russian, and Mandarin Chinese; and have been in at least 35 different countries that are currently recognized by Ethiopia. If you fulfill these requirements, you can send a letter of intent to the International Board of Really-Important Elections (PO Box 56-345, Svalbard City, Svalbard). If your letter arrives before the last board meeting in November (Board meetings are the second Thursday of every month) then your application will be considered, and if approved by a 2/3 majority of the board, and 4/9 of the other attending people, then it will be put on the next ballot. And if you win, you are the head honcho for the next five years (inauguration is at 3:30 AM Greenwich Standard Time, in the Temple of Scarred Souls, on the First Saturday of February. The Reception is held at the nearby Big Cheese Palace).

Hope you vote. Thank you for your attention.

Settling In

Sorry that it has been so long. I was busy setting up a new base in South America, since its my new post. Don't worry, I am not abandoning New Sweden, rather I am more of building a summer home. New Sweden will stay strong and under my control. In other news; Are you ready to vote for the World Leader in the International Elections? Voting takes place between December 10th and 31st. Make your self heard.

Stonehenge- Not for the Druids

As the summer solstice comes around again, I think of my life's mission, to fight Demons. Its hard work and you don't really get a break. Sure there hasn't been a major invasion since the sixteen century (in Shaanxi, covered up as an earthquake), but they almost made it back in 1908, and they are still trying even up to today. But how does this relate to the summer solstice. The answer is Stonehenge. (People who showed up to my lecture don't need to continue reading).

Stonehenge is a cap on the weakest link to our world and the demons. So it was here that us Demonslayers decided to create the first seal on the demon world. That, and it was near where our home was. It was always a place where things happened, due to the high amount of magical leakage. The locals, had already started building things there. We demonslayers helped, and when it was done (some 2 million man-hours later, not to mention some women hours) we enacted the seal. Things were good. Then came the invaders. They spoke a funny language, some had red hair, and they were very violent. They realized that Stonehenge was important, but they didn't know why. So they had their druids go there, as they killed off my people. Now 3000 years later, the common people have forgotten about my people, and they seem to think that the Celts built it, and that the druids worshiped there. To make it worse, the modern druids aren't even close to the old druids. Where is the human sacrifice and the other sorts of stuff like that. So now you know why I hate druids. Because they stole stonehenge from me.

King Arthur

There is something I must admit. In case, you hadn't guessed, I am king Arthur, not John Timothy Rothwell. He is a retarded fraud. Now they have messed the stories up a lot, but overall, it is true. See, I am currently the oldest person from Britain. Which automatically makes me king. Not only that, but I am the king Arthur of Legend. Though my name at the time was Archer Urchin Pentadrakon, I don't know where they made the mistake. The reason I am finally revealing this is because England is almost at its time of Greatest need, in which I am supposed to Return from Avalon (which is actually the now lost city of Del Mokoniriwhe). So this way, somebody can tell me when the greatest need comes, and I can return without constantly watching the news. So remember to tell me and bye.

What did I tell you

What did I tell you, about volcanoes and Glaciers? Oh yea, I said they are in eternal war. Well guess what happened. Soon after the feast ended, the Great god Cëíme'éča'údpóhkloľľünääkůíjå (Funny (Humorous) little fire island god) or Eyjafjallajökull created massive ash clouds, disrupting air travel, ruining economies (excepting New Zealand), and worse of all, stranding American Tourists in Europe, annoying the European's arrogance. This volcano god happens to be under his eternal enemy Cëínüíčä'údpóhkloľľüčacetëmůnääkůíjå (intelligent little fire island cold god), a glacial god. This god is one holding back Cëíme'éča'údpóhkloľľünääkůíjå from awaking the much more powerful god Cëíme'éčä'údpóhkloľľünääkůíjå (Funny big fire island god), or Katla. If Cëíme'éčä'údpóhkloľľünääkůíjå is awoken, a much bigger and more disruptive explosion will occur. As such I am constructing an altar for Cëínüíčä'údpóhkloľľüčacetëmůnääkůíjå right now, but I need a sacrifice. Don't worry, Cëínüíčä'údpóhkloľľüčacetëmůnääkůíjå is not a demanding god and only wants unicorns. So if you have a spare forest unicorn lying around, I would greatly accept it, as I don't have time to go hunting right now. Thank you. Also, the only very demanding Gods are the most important, who feel they are too important to have to choose their wives with the rest of the gods, and want them as soon as possible.

The truth about the New World Order

As announced in my previous post, it is time for people to learn the truth, not lies from the government. So in my second installment, I will tell you about the New World Order, and its connections Politics, Catholicism, Freemasons, and Demons.

In short, the New World Order (which will now be called the NWO or nwo) is an organization that is vying to rule the world. While the seeds of its have been planted for centuries, the League of Nations was the first attempt to create. While an utter failure, it proved that such an organization is possible. Then, in a secret meeting between the leaders of the world, in April of 1945, the document was sealed and the NWO was born. Yes, the United Nations is the NWO. But how does everything else fit into this? Well, once the NWO was founded, they realized they needed to infiltrate all parts of society. While scratching their heads, wondering how to do this, they were approached by the Traitor to humanity, Mr Menyasszony A Kutyák. He offered them help, in the form of his organization, the Freemasons, humans dedicated to making the Demons rule once again. The NWO gladly accepted, and began to unfold their plans. While they fought fake wars to try to dispel the truth, the Freemasons took over the Catholic Church. While never gaining any high ranking positions, their use of mind control, demonic rituals let them control in all but name. While some leaders tried to fight back, they were quickly killed off or framed, soon ending resistance. Next the NWO took on the media. By controlling various newspapers and Journal, such as the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and The National Inquirer, they thought they had a tight control. But then came TV and Movies. Once again the Freemasons were called, this time to mind control actors, turning them into the slaves of the NWO. Now the NWO is waiting, slowly destroying us and our ideals, making us into one nation. They used the European Union as their test site. It worked to well, until the Valiant Efforts of Greece threatened to destroy it. Now they are trying to keep even that together.

Other people have fought against the NWO too. For example many "rouge states" what to destroy it. I myself have attacked it multiple times, including at the first meeting. While I did disrupt it, I did not count on having to fight hundreds of Royal Mounted Police Men, members of the LAPD, the FBI, and ninjas trained in a monastery in Tibet. I was eventually captured, yet I did escape. Also, a few years ago their was a direct assult on New Sweden and I was captured once again by the NWO. After being tortured I was eventually freed by agents from a country I will not name for its protection.

Now You may be wondering what you can do to help. It is quite simple. Support nations frowned on by the NWO, non-conformists like Iran, North Korea, and Venezuela. Teach your family, friends, coworkers, and dogs about the NWO. Assassinate politicians, Freemasons, Movie Stars, and Other people affiliated with the New World Order. Blow up NWO buildings and ruin their "peacekeeping" operations. Remember, the NWO causes problems so that they can solve them and gain people's respect. So don't give them your respect. Thank you for reading, and have a nice anti-NWO day.

The Festival of Fools ends on April 13.

The Truth about Global Warming

All this time, the world government has been feeding you lies, in order to hide the fact that the new world order is attempting to fulfill the Prophecy. These things include evolution, global warming, Freemasons, the Knight Templar, the Catholic Church, Gravity, the World being Round, the Earth revolving around the sun, and many other assumed "truths". But these are lies. And it is up to the knowledgeable, such as me, to keep the public informed with the truth. Today I will explain Global Warming.

Global Warming does not exist. Just live with it. Rather, the Glaciers are retreating because the Glacier Gods are exhaling. That is what causes the glacial winds. As the exhale, they become smaller. Soon they will once again inhale, and grow. but they will not grow as large, and will inhale weaker, because of the volcano gods striking while they are weak. See the volcano gods have been fighting the Glacier Gods since the beginning of time. At first the volcano gods were winning in this eternal war, but eventually the Glacier Gods made an alliance with the Lightning Gods, and created life. Hence the Glacier Gods are also the Gods of life. And for the last few billion years, they have been winning. Occasionally the Volcano Gods struck back, but for the most part they have been held back. But the Glacier Gods feel forgotten, and as everyone knows, you only have power over the those who believe in you. Therefore during this last exhalation, they haven't been able to defend themselves as well as they should have, and the volcano gods began to warm up the atmosphere at a greater rate, while also making the Glacier gods have trouble inhaling. It also seems that the volcano gods have made an alliance with the earth gods, in a combine effort to destroy all life on Earth. That is what accounts for the increase of earthquakes this year. Neither the Earth gods, nor the Volcano Gods, like the Glacier God's creation, life. So they want to destroy it. Now in order to save the world, we need to renew the Glacier Gods' power. To do this, we must feed the Greatest of the Gods. What the gods need fed to them are the Hearts of young, pretty, female, virgins, taken from their living flesh with an ice knife, under the full moon, on the Head of the God's palace, on top of an alter made of the bones of the most sacred animals: mountain goats, klipspringers, yaks, and trilobites. While I have been constructing these altars for the last few hundred years, I need volunteers to be sacrificed. They must volunteer themselves and be a willing sacrifice. Under no circumstances must they have any doubts about doing this, or that it is right. If you happen to fulfill the requirements (under the age of eighteen, pretty, virgin, female, willing, and believing in the Glacier Gods) then please contact me). You will go down in history as a true hero for humanity.



In other news, the festival of fools lasts until April 13.

Of Omission: Piece Number One

There exists multiple forms of English. First there is Old English. It is spoken by the peoples who entered the British Isle. When the Northmen conquered them, French turned into the powerful tongue. Then English returned to its position of power, but with strong french influence. It never would turn into its former, unmolested form. Next, it developed into modern English. Shexpere wrote in Modern English, not Old English. It would be most nice if you did not use the fore-mentioned error when referring to his works. This is the first Of Omission Piece.

Köszönöm for using your eyes to devour this work of much time.