What did I tell you

What did I tell you, about volcanoes and Glaciers? Oh yea, I said they are in eternal war. Well guess what happened. Soon after the feast ended, the Great god Cëíme'éča'údpóhkloľľünääkůíjå (Funny (Humorous) little fire island god) or Eyjafjallajökull created massive ash clouds, disrupting air travel, ruining economies (excepting New Zealand), and worse of all, stranding American Tourists in Europe, annoying the European's arrogance. This volcano god happens to be under his eternal enemy Cëínüíčä'údpóhkloľľüčacetëmůnääkůíjå (intelligent little fire island cold god), a glacial god. This god is one holding back Cëíme'éča'údpóhkloľľünääkůíjå from awaking the much more powerful god Cëíme'éčä'údpóhkloľľünääkůíjå (Funny big fire island god), or Katla. If Cëíme'éčä'údpóhkloľľünääkůíjå is awoken, a much bigger and more disruptive explosion will occur. As such I am constructing an altar for Cëínüíčä'údpóhkloľľüčacetëmůnääkůíjå right now, but I need a sacrifice. Don't worry, Cëínüíčä'údpóhkloľľüčacetëmůnääkůíjå is not a demanding god and only wants unicorns. So if you have a spare forest unicorn lying around, I would greatly accept it, as I don't have time to go hunting right now. Thank you. Also, the only very demanding Gods are the most important, who feel they are too important to have to choose their wives with the rest of the gods, and want them as soon as possible.

The truth about the New World Order

As announced in my previous post, it is time for people to learn the truth, not lies from the government. So in my second installment, I will tell you about the New World Order, and its connections Politics, Catholicism, Freemasons, and Demons.

In short, the New World Order (which will now be called the NWO or nwo) is an organization that is vying to rule the world. While the seeds of its have been planted for centuries, the League of Nations was the first attempt to create. While an utter failure, it proved that such an organization is possible. Then, in a secret meeting between the leaders of the world, in April of 1945, the document was sealed and the NWO was born. Yes, the United Nations is the NWO. But how does everything else fit into this? Well, once the NWO was founded, they realized they needed to infiltrate all parts of society. While scratching their heads, wondering how to do this, they were approached by the Traitor to humanity, Mr Menyasszony A Kutyák. He offered them help, in the form of his organization, the Freemasons, humans dedicated to making the Demons rule once again. The NWO gladly accepted, and began to unfold their plans. While they fought fake wars to try to dispel the truth, the Freemasons took over the Catholic Church. While never gaining any high ranking positions, their use of mind control, demonic rituals let them control in all but name. While some leaders tried to fight back, they were quickly killed off or framed, soon ending resistance. Next the NWO took on the media. By controlling various newspapers and Journal, such as the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and The National Inquirer, they thought they had a tight control. But then came TV and Movies. Once again the Freemasons were called, this time to mind control actors, turning them into the slaves of the NWO. Now the NWO is waiting, slowly destroying us and our ideals, making us into one nation. They used the European Union as their test site. It worked to well, until the Valiant Efforts of Greece threatened to destroy it. Now they are trying to keep even that together.

Other people have fought against the NWO too. For example many "rouge states" what to destroy it. I myself have attacked it multiple times, including at the first meeting. While I did disrupt it, I did not count on having to fight hundreds of Royal Mounted Police Men, members of the LAPD, the FBI, and ninjas trained in a monastery in Tibet. I was eventually captured, yet I did escape. Also, a few years ago their was a direct assult on New Sweden and I was captured once again by the NWO. After being tortured I was eventually freed by agents from a country I will not name for its protection.

Now You may be wondering what you can do to help. It is quite simple. Support nations frowned on by the NWO, non-conformists like Iran, North Korea, and Venezuela. Teach your family, friends, coworkers, and dogs about the NWO. Assassinate politicians, Freemasons, Movie Stars, and Other people affiliated with the New World Order. Blow up NWO buildings and ruin their "peacekeeping" operations. Remember, the NWO causes problems so that they can solve them and gain people's respect. So don't give them your respect. Thank you for reading, and have a nice anti-NWO day.

The Festival of Fools ends on April 13.

The Truth about Global Warming

All this time, the world government has been feeding you lies, in order to hide the fact that the new world order is attempting to fulfill the Prophecy. These things include evolution, global warming, Freemasons, the Knight Templar, the Catholic Church, Gravity, the World being Round, the Earth revolving around the sun, and many other assumed "truths". But these are lies. And it is up to the knowledgeable, such as me, to keep the public informed with the truth. Today I will explain Global Warming.

Global Warming does not exist. Just live with it. Rather, the Glaciers are retreating because the Glacier Gods are exhaling. That is what causes the glacial winds. As the exhale, they become smaller. Soon they will once again inhale, and grow. but they will not grow as large, and will inhale weaker, because of the volcano gods striking while they are weak. See the volcano gods have been fighting the Glacier Gods since the beginning of time. At first the volcano gods were winning in this eternal war, but eventually the Glacier Gods made an alliance with the Lightning Gods, and created life. Hence the Glacier Gods are also the Gods of life. And for the last few billion years, they have been winning. Occasionally the Volcano Gods struck back, but for the most part they have been held back. But the Glacier Gods feel forgotten, and as everyone knows, you only have power over the those who believe in you. Therefore during this last exhalation, they haven't been able to defend themselves as well as they should have, and the volcano gods began to warm up the atmosphere at a greater rate, while also making the Glacier gods have trouble inhaling. It also seems that the volcano gods have made an alliance with the earth gods, in a combine effort to destroy all life on Earth. That is what accounts for the increase of earthquakes this year. Neither the Earth gods, nor the Volcano Gods, like the Glacier God's creation, life. So they want to destroy it. Now in order to save the world, we need to renew the Glacier Gods' power. To do this, we must feed the Greatest of the Gods. What the gods need fed to them are the Hearts of young, pretty, female, virgins, taken from their living flesh with an ice knife, under the full moon, on the Head of the God's palace, on top of an alter made of the bones of the most sacred animals: mountain goats, klipspringers, yaks, and trilobites. While I have been constructing these altars for the last few hundred years, I need volunteers to be sacrificed. They must volunteer themselves and be a willing sacrifice. Under no circumstances must they have any doubts about doing this, or that it is right. If you happen to fulfill the requirements (under the age of eighteen, pretty, virgin, female, willing, and believing in the Glacier Gods) then please contact me). You will go down in history as a true hero for humanity.



In other news, the festival of fools lasts until April 13.

Fun

You know what. The article I wrote on health care was fun. I think I am going to write more laws for the United States. But some other time. I am also going to create a series called, of omission. It will be random articles and you need to figure out whats special about them. I think I write the first one soon. Good Bye.

Lá Joyful Naomh Pádraig

Seo roinnt Gaeilge bréagach.

Diúltú liom scríobh i nGaeilge fíor.

Ní sin a dhéanamh fiú labhairt faoi mo chuid gramadach lochtach.

Anois, ar an ábhar.

Cén fáth a cheiliúradh rudaí Gaeilge nuair is féidir linn Lochlannaigh a cheiliúradh.

Nuair a bhíonn an lá Naomh Olaf's?

An bhfuil tú fionnaidh a chaitheamh nó a fháil ar do cheann a ghearradh amach le tua cath?

Is é sin mo cineál saoire.

Slán a fhágáil go dtí roinnt dáta níos déanaí.

Mythos Wyrm, who wore fur today.

Ten signs that you need to rethink your life.

1. Your imaginary Friend ignores you
2. When you and your friends go camping during a thunder storm you are the one who gets to carry the poles.
3. The bank foreclosed your cardboard box.
4. You owe your dog money.
5. The three things you are told the most are 'wake up',' go to bed', and 'its only a flesh wound'.
6. You are a wanna be nerd.
7. When you read a fortune cookie it says 'there is a rope around your neck in the near future' and you lucky numbers are 666, 13 and π.
8. If you think its fun to spend your Saturday night playing mahjong with 80 year old ladies.
9. Your favorite pastime is breaking wind.
10. A nightlight is your only friend.

Vulcan Of Sweden

We have done it. Located on the New Swedish coast is the largest artificial volcano. Thousands of tonnes of steel, rock, cement, and more have created an 8,000 foot high volcano with lava in its crater. Climb to the top and go to the visitors center up there before March 31, 2008 to recive a free t-shirt that says "I climbed Mount Wyrm" and a free plate of Swedish meatballs. Remember this is only a tourist attraction, not a government facility cover up. Visit us today.

-The New Swedish Board for tourism and Entertainment

वे हवे दोने आईटी. लोकातेद ओं थे न्यू स्वेदिश कास्ट इस थे लार्गेस्ट अर्तिफिसिअल वोल्कानो. थौसंड्स ऑफ़ तोंनेस ऑफ़ स्टील, रॉक, समेंट, एंड मोरे हवे क्रेअतेद अन ८,००० फ़ुट हिघ वोल्कानो विथ लावा इन इट्स क्रेटर. क्लिम्ब to the टॉप एंड गो to the विसितोर्स सेंटर उप तेरे बेफोरे मार्च ३१, २००८ to रेसिवे a फ्री टी-शर्ट ठाट सय्स "इ क्लिम्बेद माउंट व्य्र्म" एंड a फ्री प्लेट ऑफ़ स्वेदिश मेअत्बल्ल्स. रेमेम्बेर थिस इस नोट a रियल टूरिस्ट अत्त्रक्शन, बुत a गवर्नमेंट फसिलिटी कवर उप. विसित उस टुडे.

-थे न्यू स्वेदिश बोर्ड फॉर तौरिस्म एंड एन्तेर्तैन्मेंट

12/20/07 :Þ

"Autocracy is great... when you are the autocrat."
-The wise Guy's Mouth

Also the title's date will know be the date in Sweden when it has this symbol in title :Þ

News

Yesterday (Tuesday) the first annual New Swedish Empire Swedish Fish Festival took place, the first day of ten. The events began promptly at 8:15 AM (Stockholm Time) and it ended at 11:15 PM. Please forgive us for having this article coming out so late, but it was reporting staff's duty to clean up the fairgrounds before reporting on this fun-event. It began with an awesome speech by his Majesty, Lord Mythos Wyrm. Then the fun and games began. At noon exactly the Mile-swim the Fish began, where contestants would have to swim one nautical mile in lake covered with Candy fish!!!!!!!!! The winner was Karl Gustaf. Congratulations Stefan. Also there was the Swedish Fish Artillery shoot, an event were people build cannons out of cardboard tubes and other materials, fill them with gun powder and attempt to launch there Swedish fish (filled with a motion tracking device) the farthest. The winner has not been announced yet. There were many other events full of action, too many to be named. Check out next time for the rundown of the festival, and don't miss tomorrow's parade. You will finally be able to see the general military uniform. It might be Surprising. Until next time.