Ten signs that you need to rethink your life.

1. Your imaginary Friend ignores you
2. When you and your friends go camping during a thunder storm you are the one who gets to carry the poles.
3. The bank foreclosed your cardboard box.
4. You owe your dog money.
5. The three things you are told the most are 'wake up',' go to bed', and 'its only a flesh wound'.
6. You are a wanna be nerd.
7. When you read a fortune cookie it says 'there is a rope around your neck in the near future' and you lucky numbers are 666, 13 and π.
8. If you think its fun to spend your Saturday night playing mahjong with 80 year old ladies.
9. Your favorite pastime is breaking wind.
10. A nightlight is your only friend.

I hate Lawn Care

Well, my lawn mower. He was Norwegian, so I knew I couldn't trust him. Claimed I was endangering his health. I don't know what he was talking about. DDT, Parathion and other pesticides have never hurt anyone. Not even a fly. So he quit and guess who had to mow the massive palace lawn when he left. ME!!!!!!!! Well the lawn is a few acres and all we had was a push gas mower dating from 1823 (exaggeration), a reel mower that was even older and a scythe. Of course the gas mower was broken and only had three wheels and the reel mower hadn't be oiled since the Nazi's invaded Norway. So naturally I used the scythe. I little while later I was bored. So I am turning about 3 acres into a Safari Park, so that I have excuse for really long grass. Bye.

More Annoyances for Hawiru

ᛁ ᚺᚨᛏᛖ᛫ᛒᛖᛖᛜ᛫ᚾᛁᛊᛖ᛫ᛏᛟᛟ᛫ᛗᛖ᛫ᛖᚾᛖᛗᛖᛖᛊ᛬ It has been so long since I have written in the Elder Fuþark. More Carvings to come. Thanks for reading. By the way I wrote that using a keyboard I made myself.

Leonardo Da Vinci was a liar

Many people say that Leonardo Da Vinci was a genius and a fabulous artist.  Well I knew him and can tell you he isn't.  See there was a Swede by the name Sven Olafsson who happened to be in Italy for some reason.  Well Leonardo Da Vinci, a common thief saw him and all his stuff.  So Da Vinci thought, you know if I kill this guy and steal his stuff then I can pretend to be him and become rich and famous.  So Da Vinci killed Sven and took his briefcase.  For the next few decades Da Vinci slowly leaked out Sven's work, pretending it was his.  But all of Sven's inventions worked.  The reason Da Vinci's inventions didn't work because he spilled wine on them and messed up the diagrams.  Plus Everyone knows that Mongolia had ornithopter for hundreds of years before Leonardo Da Vinci claimed to invent them and that Francis Bacon brought the Idea into Europe.  And the Romans used tanks in their conquest.  Just all this history was rewritten in the Renaissance to make the Western Europeans look better.    

𐐓𐐩𐐿 𐑄𐐰𐐻 𐐰𐑋𐑉𐐮𐐿𐐫

𐐗𐐰𐑌𐐻 𐐷𐐼 𐐮𐐻 𐐸𐐲𐐸?  𐐼𐐯𐑃 𐐻𐐭 𐐰𐑋𐑉𐐮𐐿𐐫𐑌 𐐨𐑂𐐮𐑊. 𐐌 𐐶𐑌𐐻 𐐻𐐭 𐑅𐐨 𐑄𐑉 𐑁𐐩𐑅𐐯𐑅.  

Well that was fun.  

Bet you can't read it.

Torure in uhhh Mexico

In Texico students are being taught to torture plants.  They are putting bean seeds in jars are then repeatedly flipping the jar, causing the plant to grow in awkward shapes.  There is no reason that people should be allowed to torture plants and not animals or people.  I demand, as the President, Chair, Founder, CEO, CFO, Treasurer, and leading member of HETV (Humans for Ethical Treatment of Vegetables) that Ocanadio stops torturing plants as plants are people too.  Or I demand that if they don' stop doing this then Brazifornia should start teaching torture of animals in school too.    

Youtube

I am being framed on youtube by some little kid.  I hate Jimbo Jones the Talking Gorilla.  I am much more awesome than that thing.  but some of his videos are okay.  I guess.

American's are so awesome I want to be one

I love america.  It is so great.  I wish I lived there.  So do you.  So move to America today.  It will be the best decision you will ever make.  O yeah, France is awesome too.

I hate America.  It sucks.  I wish I wasn't being forced to right propaganda for them.  Moving there would be the worse decision you can make.  And France sucks.  Even more than AMerica.

Stick Animation?

Uhhh'thus is nt working

Peace Talks

You might be wondering where I have been the last month or so.  This time it wasn't jail, or Mongolia.  I have been in Cairo working on peace talks with the United States.  Though the meeting are to be confidential until 2013, I may tell you the terms we agreed to.  I am to stop insulting the Americans.  I am to have a better human rights record, meaning no more torturing terrorists (hypocritical Americans, wait I didn't mean that.  Americans don't torture terrorists, anymore).  I am to stop stealing oil from Norway.  I am to hold elections in July.  Fair Elections.  What do you mean our last elections weren't fair?  I am to build a missile defense program to protect my people from Russians.  I am to quit saying that I am an immortal Demon Slayer.  I am to stop promoting obesity by holding the Swedish fish festival.  I am to stop attacking Sweden.  I am to let people come freely into my borders.  I am to join the EU.  I am to stop my use of the þ and the ð.  I am to add the Star Spangled Banner and America the Beautiful to my music on the Wyrm News.  I am to allow people to make decisions.  I am to force Floppy+Bros to make America Overpowered  I WW3, the New Swedish Way.  I am to suck up to America like the rest of Europe.  I am to be the example to the rest of Europe by becoming the 51st state of America.  Wait I wasn't supposed to say that.  In return I will not get invaded by America.  If you are wondering how they got me to agree to these things I must say that I am not allowed to disclose the fact that I was deprived of sleep, water boarded, drugged and had my signiture forged.  Well that is why I have been gone.