Rise of the Anglishmen

I fraign your forechoice to latin phrases, you daft culver head. It makes you a daft Frenchman, mind you. Even you women are Frenchmen. There is no wherefore to handle those swinksome words. I should kill you and make your kin thralls. Yes, they will find fun in thralldom. No qualm about it. Let the Arne of true Angland slay the speech trusteavers. Yes, that is a great forethink. Once again, Anglish will be Saxon and not Norman. Long live the King!!!!!

Leonardo Da Vinci was a liar

Many people say that Leonardo Da Vinci was a genius and a fabulous artist.  Well I knew him and can tell you he isn't.  See there was a Swede by the name Sven Olafsson who happened to be in Italy for some reason.  Well Leonardo Da Vinci, a common thief saw him and all his stuff.  So Da Vinci thought, you know if I kill this guy and steal his stuff then I can pretend to be him and become rich and famous.  So Da Vinci killed Sven and took his briefcase.  For the next few decades Da Vinci slowly leaked out Sven's work, pretending it was his.  But all of Sven's inventions worked.  The reason Da Vinci's inventions didn't work because he spilled wine on them and messed up the diagrams.  Plus Everyone knows that Mongolia had ornithopter for hundreds of years before Leonardo Da Vinci claimed to invent them and that Francis Bacon brought the Idea into Europe.  And the Romans used tanks in their conquest.  Just all this history was rewritten in the Renaissance to make the Western Europeans look better.