Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Peace Talks

You might be wondering where I have been the last month or so.  This time it wasn't jail, or Mongolia.  I have been in Cairo working on peace talks with the United States.  Though the meeting are to be confidential until 2013, I may tell you the terms we agreed to.  I am to stop insulting the Americans.  I am to have a better human rights record, meaning no more torturing terrorists (hypocritical Americans, wait I didn't mean that.  Americans don't torture terrorists, anymore).  I am to stop stealing oil from Norway.  I am to hold elections in July.  Fair Elections.  What do you mean our last elections weren't fair?  I am to build a missile defense program to protect my people from Russians.  I am to quit saying that I am an immortal Demon Slayer.  I am to stop promoting obesity by holding the Swedish fish festival.  I am to stop attacking Sweden.  I am to let people come freely into my borders.  I am to join the EU.  I am to stop my use of the þ and the ð.  I am to add the Star Spangled Banner and America the Beautiful to my music on the Wyrm News.  I am to allow people to make decisions.  I am to force Floppy+Bros to make America Overpowered  I WW3, the New Swedish Way.  I am to suck up to America like the rest of Europe.  I am to be the example to the rest of Europe by becoming the 51st state of America.  Wait I wasn't supposed to say that.  In return I will not get invaded by America.  If you are wondering how they got me to agree to these things I must say that I am not allowed to disclose the fact that I was deprived of sleep, water boarded, drugged and had my signiture forged.  Well that is why I have been gone.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Where I have been

I am back.  Did you miss me?  I have been in Jail for the past month or so, but I was found not guilty.  Well I should explain what happened.  See I got a letter telling me to go to Kazakhstan.  Ðere I met about 15 other world leaders.  We were all standing in a Room, wondering what was happening, when a voice said ˝You are probely wondering why you are here.  Well see there is a buried treasure worth millions hidden somewhere in ðe world.  You first hint to finding ðis treasure is Ðe Road not taken, by Robert Frost.˝  Well on the plane home I was studying ðe poem when i realized ðat if you took the first letters of each line, and removed ðe repeating ones, you get Shoby, a town in England.  SO I went to Shoby an dstarted to dig it up.  Needless to say, they were not amused.  I was arrested and was put on trial.  But due to an idiot recording the information, I was for some reason charged with Manslaughter, Meþamphetamine trafficking, and assault, rather than trespassing and destruction of Public Property.  SO I was finally released 2 days ago due to lack of evidence.  Oh yeah I found the next clue.  But I won´t tell you until I have found the treasure.  Bye.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

New Blog

I am now publishing an aspiring cartoonist's writing on www.melvileandco.blogspot.com. Check it out. Itis awesome. (laughs in a corner) Bye.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Hey that guy owes me money" A rundown of the Weeks since my Last Post.

So I will have to explain the Swedish Fish festival Later. Today I have more important news. See a few weeks ago a faked my death... Well You will see. Let us begin. It all started in November when Barack Hussein Obama sent a letter to me. I replied that I would see him at the World Leader's barbecue the Next week. So at the barbecue I was playing Horseshoes with Vladimir Putin, Kim Jon-il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Nicolas Sarkozy, and George Bush. Then a man came over to George Bush. They went away to talk. We thought it was the secret service agent guy so we thought nothing about it. He came back and we continued our game. Man Kim Jon-il is good at horseshoes. So I thought nothing about it until the Sedish fish festival when we caught two spies drinking hot chocolate by a campfire in the middle of the fairgrounds. We took them away and learned that they were sent here by Heinrich von Kathar, who sounded familiar but I wasn't quite sure who he was. I figured out who he was when a guy attacked me in my palace. He was quickly caught. I realised that the Organization he was from would most likely start attacking the common people. So we sent a message to them that we managed to kill their assassin but the assassin managed to kill me while I was trying to expose them. I than created a blog post that I was supposedly writing when I was attacked. After that I left New Sweden to talk to an old Friend of mine. Well they figured out but I managed to escape their grasp and run away to Topeka. But I was stuck in Las Vegas for about thirteen hours. So I had nothing better to do than to go to the Casinos and look for people who owe me money. Well I found one guy who looked familiar, but I was pretty sure he saved my life about 20 years before. So I gave 750 bucks. He looked happy. But the guys in Suits didn't look so happy. Or so I assume. It is hard to tell when 15 guys have guns aimed at you whether or not they were happy to see me. Well I got back on the plane and went to Topeka. Then earlier today I turned on the news and low and behold I saw that guy who I gave the money too. And he being sworn in as President of the United States of America. So that was why the guy looked familiar. He was the President Elect. So now Lil' Hussein (formerly He-who-houses-terrorist-sticks) owes me 750 bucks. Right now I am in the airport heading back to New Sweden. Hopefully then I can appeal to Lil' Hussein to help protect me from the organization unmtil I get organized. So what he wants to kill me. I did give him 750 bucks.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Vacation

I do not have time to report on the Swedish Fish Festival. I must leave now. They are after me. I will be back hopefully after He-who-houses-terrorist-sticks takes over the regime. I must see some old friends, Now. I will explain la...

The Scumbag is dead. Long live The Orgainzation. Long live Heinrich Von Kathar. Death to the True Evil Empire. Wait, how do you change the labels? I wonder if this is the button that does it. Yes I think it is. Hey your supoosed to be dead. Don't press that bu...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Busy

I am busy. But I am here to remind you that the Swedish Festival has started. Head over to the carnival. and we will have some very special guests. Plus I will have an autograph session everyday. Just come and find out. Or if you can't come, wait for the Carnival Report at the end of the Carnival. Any citizen of New Sweden, Sweden, Finland or Fiji gets in free. Everyone else gets in for a daily ticket of $2 for 8 and unders, $3 for 8-18 and $5 for adults. Seniors get in free. As do toddlers (2 and under). But if you are a citizen of Canada, Norway, Russia, or USA, you have to pay $5 per person, no matter what age they are. Tickets for the whole event are selling for $40 each. They give you unlimited access to the fairgrounds until the Carnival is over. That's all folks. Carnival ends December 28.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Incredibots

Found this cool physics simulation game. Here is an example of what you can do.
http://incredibots.com/?robotID=438921
It is a four player battle game. Hope it works.

Here is the game itself.



I like the dark knight level. You find it under load bot. Plasy aroung with this game. Have fun.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Annoucements

The Swedish Fish Festival will begin on December 19, 2008 at 8:15AM and will last until 11:15 PM each day until December 28,2008. It will be held at the Carnival Grounds near the Royal Palace. Everyone is invited. There might even be a special guest. Or two. Or three.

The Short Story contest will end on January 7, 2009. Send in your stories. Please keep them publishable.

Greshkhan will be back soon with part two of his article of Vampyrs. Look forward to it.

Remember no more chocolate. Swedish Fish is where it is at.

The wise guy is back from the Himalayas. He says, "Wise Guy's Warning: Loaded guns may be hazardous to your health."

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Share your Hatred

Comment on what you hate. Then we laugh and tell you to go get a life.

What I hate
  1. Unpublishable Elvin Oathes who think they are better than I
  2. America
  3. Pirates
  4. The Common Demon
  5. "Revel Monkez" (It is a band)
  6. Dirk the Jerk of West Eaty-fourth Street
  7. Negitive People
  8. Idiots
  9. Insignificant people (that means you Titan-Slayer)
  10. you
  11. Lucky Charms after people have removed all the Mashmellaz
  12. Ugly People

SO now post what you hate.