I am back, and I have so much to say

So I have just returned from a little incident in Fúkjatx ot Mlózvkk zvkKlvkjats, and I find that a lot has happened over the last few months.  Protests erupted over the Middle East and North Africa, and Libya was invaded.  Some pretenders to the throne got married and a terrorist was assassinated while under the protection of a nation that was supposed to hunting him.  There was an earthquake in Japan that cause some people to freakout about nuclear meltdowns.  And since I am sure that you want me to start commenting about these events and more, I won't.  There is something much more important to be talked about  and that is the upcoming Sweden vs Finland ice hockey game for the gold medal in the IIHF World Championship.  Go Tre Kronor!!!!  Beat those Finns back to their sorry wasteland!  Döda dem!!!!!!     

4th Annual Swedish Fish Festival!

Well, its that Time of year once again.  Yup, its the Swedish Fish festival.  It started on the 18th, and the last 6 days have been a blast!  However, just because you missed the first half doesn't mean you can't come now, since the festival continues until the 28th!!!!  And this year it is completely free!!!  Thats right, there are no entrance fees!!!  So come over to the Imperial Palace grounds today and have fun at the Swedish Fish festival.

International Elections

It is time to cast in your ballot and vote me the new Dictator of the world.  Voting is only for this month, so you better vote for me.  Thank you for voting.

Analysis of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

I recently viewed the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1.  While I usually avoid reviewing movie, I felt that this one deserved a review from my enlightened being. 

Overall it was a very awesome movie.  Meaning this movie struck awe into me.  The awe being fear of how such a large and powerful studio could make such a terrible movie.  As some one who demands a ratio of 1 death, maiming or interesting action to every 10 sentences of dialogue, this movie did not meet my expectations.  Also I found the movie very unrealistic.  A girl of 17 would not be running around forests with teenage boys killing people.  She would be in her husband's kitchen, making food and fighting with his other wives.  The makers of this movie clearly were making some sort political statement, trying to fight for women's rights.   And that ginger clearly doesn't understand his place in society.  He is a lowerclass farmboy.  He should have realized he would never achieve greatness.  This is another offensive political statement I found in this movie.  The list of other statement goes on but these were the most important.  I must leave now, but overall, just pirate the movie.  It isn't worth your money.  Plus you will support Singapore's economy by doing this.

Thank you for reading this message.

Hellhounds

Hello folks.  Its me, Greshkhan again.  And today I will be teaching about hellhounds.  Hellhounds are creatures not of this world, but of the Demon World.  They evolved from dire wolves that ended up in the Demon World when our worlds split some few million years ago.  As such they are not magic beasts like Jätte.  They are just the result of an evolutionary process.  Unfortunately for us the world they evolved from is much harsher and more magic filled then ours.  As such they are much fiercer, stronger, larger, smarter and more magic resistant then the wolves of our world.  They are usually about the size of large wolves or small horses, the largest subspecies can reach the size of large horses.  The coat of a hellhound is very magic resistant and it is almost impossible to kill a hellhound with magic.  Neither the Demons nor us Humans have managed to tame the hellhound, but the Demonking did manage to magically enhance one, making it larger (it is almost 1000lbs and is in a size proportional to this), smarter (it can speak various languages, including Old Norse), stronger (it is almost impossible to hurt) and fiercer.  This hellhound is currently in our headquarters (XXXXXXXX) and it took much effort to catch it, even resulting in ᛏ(TXX) having his right hand bitten off.  But this shouldn't concern you.  What should concern you is what to do if you meet a hellhound.  To put it simply you better pray that it doesn't notice you, isn't hungry, or is nice.  Or else you better have something to fight it with.  Your fists won't cut it out, as they can easily bite them off (Ask ᛏ about that), and then they can tackle you and eat you.  Having a weapon such as an axe (which is the best weapon by the way), spear or sword will be helpful.  Guns are extremely helpful when it comes to killing hellhounds, but arrows may not be enough to kill one, at least initially.  Luckily hellhounds usually do manage to wander into our world, and when they do they are usually killed either by us or by commoners who are fed up with the killings of their livestock and families.  Famous hellhounds include the Beast of Gévaudan, and Hróðvitnir.  Have a good day.

Post Election Analysis Revisited

So I was re-reading my post election analysis from November 2008, and realized I got a lot of things wrong.  For one, all the fascists stayed in America, or moved to France.  Secondly I don't think McCain has retired, and I don't think Bush is a motivational speaker.  I can't talk about the things that haven't happened yet, like the war with Germany, and I don't know who is running in the next election.  Also I said that Obama's approval rating would be in the 50s by the end.  Its already below that.  He definitely helped ruin the economy though.   And while he didn't choose Bin Laden for his Secretary of State, he sure came close.

3rd Anniversary

So I missed the Wyrm News's Third Anniversary.  I am somewhat annoyed by that.  In fact I am very annoyed.  So I am going to do something special very soon.

Happy Leif Erikson Day

Time to celebrate one of the many discoverers of America that deserves recognition, not the stupid Christopher Columbus.

Atlantis, Lost Civilizations, and more lies in the truth

I have heard many stupid things in my long life. Its one of those things that happen when you live for a few thousand years. While the ignorance about Stonehenge is one thing that annoys me, another one is the lies told about Atlantis.

To begin: Atlantis never existed. In our world that it. What it is simply the reflection of the largest city in the Demon World, Ghörhltæqhwihkhåððýfûq (literally Great City of Hothy in Archaic Eastern High Demon), in our world caused by an imbalance of magic between our worlds. When there is a large magical burst of energy there, the city seems to appear in our world, over the corresponding coordinates in our world, and it reflects until the magic dissipates (these magical bursts happen in other places too, but that is another story). This causes problems when people see the reflection and think it is real. And that is how Atlantis came into being. Yes, all the stories you have heard about Atlantis are false.

What about the other "lost continents" you might ask. Here is a rundown. Hyperborea and Thule are just other names for the various islands in the North Sea. Mu is a non existant and just a story. Good Ol' Lumeria suffers the same fate as Mu. Not everything is a lie though. The various ideas of Shambhala, Ergenekon, Shangri-La, and other such places were rooted in fact. This fact was the Morcanian (English transliteration for their culture) civilization.

While I could fill books about the Morcanians, in short they were the humans that interacted the most with the other worlds. They lived in what is now the Steppes of Mongolia and Siberia, arriving there around 42,000 BM (Before Mythos). They spoke a language related to modern Ket. They were herders and lived as nomads. One tribe, whom I will call the Morcanians nomaded themselves into a demon outpost around 30,000 BM. At this point the Demons had not organized themselves into civilizations and were living as tribes. The city of Ghörhltæqhwihkhåððýfûq was only a small farming village at this point and the Great Lord Apocalypse was only beginning his life. This outpost was simply a place were one tribe was watching for its enemies without realizing that they were in the wrong world. To make a long story short, this tribe was kidnapped and kept as hostages for the next 32,000 or so years. When they finally freed themselves and returned to our world (In 2321 JU (In the Year of Our Lord)), they brought with them the mystical bone of Terror and a dialect of the Northwestern Low Afrit language. They created two large cities once they returned to our world, both known for being far more advanced than any other. It was these cities that created our idea of an ancient, peaceful, technologically advanced civilization that eventually was destroyed by its pride. But that is another story, for another time.

International Elections, My Nomination

I am pleased to announce that I have been nominated to be the new dictator of the world. Please vote for me. Thank you.