Poster

Special Lecture!!!!

On Saturday, March 5, there will be a Special lecture by his Majesty Justice Mythos Wyrm. It will be called, "Stonehenge: Truth behind the Stones" and will run from 9:30 AM to 7:30 PM. Only losers wont attend. Even though it is primarily about Stonehenge it will cover many other topics that they don't want you to know. It will be a lot of fun, so be there.

Who: Justice Mythos Wyrm
What: A lecture on many things
Where: The Grand Auditorium
When: 9:30-7:30 Saturday March 6, 2010
Why: To inform the public


Official Poster advertisement coming up.

WHAT!!!!!

HOW DID THE SWEDISH WOMAN'S HOCKEY TEAM LOSE TO CANADA 13-1!!!!!! IT IS ABSURD!!!!!! THIS SHOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED. WHY!!!!!

Olympics 2010

We at new Sweden give our condolences to Nodar Kumaritashvili's family and wish the Georgian Team. We also wish everybody else luck. We wish we could be there, but our skiers were just too good.

Self Help Book- Introduction and Chapter 1

I keep on receiving letters from people telling me that I should help the world and publish a self help book. Well I decided to do that and now for a limited time only, you can read it before it is published, or even sent to the Publishers!!!! Ready for it. Here it is.

Get a Life:
Why you should help your self instead on relying on others, you whining pig!!!!!!!

Introduction

You might be wondering why I, An awesome demon-slayer, benevolent dictator, linguist, and Professor of Demonology at His Majesty's the Royal Supreme High Lord Sir Justice Mythos Wyrm University, would be concerning myself with you pitiful mortals and writing a book to solve your problems. Well they answer is I am tired of you asking for my help. So I am writing something that will end my problems once an for all. It is broken into three parts: Why you have problems; Why you aren't solving them; and How to solve them. Now let us start.

Part 1- Why you have problems

Chapter 1- I live in my mom's basement and am ranked #1 in Halo 3 online

Good job looser. Now get a life. See you fall under the first category of the people with problems, you are slothful and want people to solve your easily correctable problems. Well why should we solve your problems. See the reason you have problems is because you secretly want to have problems. You cause them yourself so that people will feel sorry for you. Guess what, they don't. We see you, laugh and then play Parcheesi. We don't feel sorry for you. Get out of the basement, breathe in some fresh air and join the marines, you don't have any real problems. And I will kill you one of these days!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Annoucments

McDonald's are now illegal. Please bomb them if you see one. There will be movie critics training on February 9, at the Big Ol' Theater. Chocolate is leagal until the 18th of February. Have a nice day.

What is the Hardest Language to learn?

What a wonderful question. As someone who can speak more than 83 human languages, 7 demon languages, 2 elven languages, a dwarven language, and Esperanto, I must say that all languages are easy. The hardest are definitely Demon languages, because they have a different mouth than us, and humans can't pronounce some sounds in it. This sound is known as the voiceless lateral epiglottal trill. I just fake it with an epiglottal trill and some luck. There are some other sounds too, but they aren't nearly as needed or hard. Elven does have multiple tones (at once) and has way too many vowels, but it is possible. The only language that I have tried to learn and can't is Kwhúúmish. And it isn't actually that hard of a language. It only has three vowels (i, u, a) with 7 tones (high, mid, low, lower, high rising, low falling, and mid-low-high) and the vowels being contrasted by length, nasalization, glottalizaiton, pharlengization, and other things. And it only has about six stops (p, t, d[retroflex], c, k, q +') that are contrasted by length, labialization, aspiration, palatalization, pharlengizaiton, and more. THere are no nasals, and only 2 approximants. I just don't know why I cant learn it. Until later...
Mythos Wyrm.










And yes I can speak french, I just choose not to.

Unicorns

There are two types of Unicorns, the Steppe Unicorn and the Forest Unicorn. There are also their close relatives the Bicorns, and the Quadracorns, but those are a completely different story. And no, tricorns do not exist. Steppe Unicorns are extremely common, living all over Russia, Mongolia, Kazakhstan and other parts of Central Asia. They often are found in herds over five hundred and it is thought there are over two-hundred herds this size. Of course these creatures are not often seen as they can run over forty-five miles per hour over the course of thirty miles and can easily sprint at miles per hour. They also blend in well with the steppe. They have little magical ability and their main purpose for being hunted is for food and for their extremely warm and camouflaged hide. Some people also seek them out for their horns, which are then sold as fake unicorn horns. Forest unicorns contrast greatly. They are rare solitary beasts, larger than a draft horse, and are extremely bad tempered. They have much magical ability and are agile and elusive. Forest Unicorns are found throughout Germany, Switzerland, Austria, and other forested areas in Europe. It is also thought that some where captured and released in British Columbia during the 1700s, and that they is now a sizable population fighting for food with the Sasquatch. The forest Unicorn is white in colour in its natural form, but can change its colour at will. The horn of a forest unicorn is unbreakable, extremely sharp, and capable of cutting diamond. When ground up it acts as a powerful hallucinogen, and in quantities of more than a few grams it can knock out or even kill an adult human. Forest Unicorn blood is highly acidic, and is used as the almost universal solvent, as it can't dissolve gold, and a few other things. Forest unicorn hide is also warm, but has nothing special compared to the steppe unicorn hide. Forest Unicorn hoofs can be turned into an adhesive that is more powerful than almost any type of glue, but at the same time can be easily removed in the proper manner. This makes it useful for climbing up walls. Forest Unicorn bones can be ground up to make a potion that makes to user temporarily fast, but has side effects that include increased heart rate, death, internal bleeding, loss of judgment, insanity, internal necrosis, and a squeaky voice. Forest unicorn tail can be used to make a strong, elasticity rope. Forest unicorn liver tastes really good fried, and their kidneys can cure you of most poisons when eaten (with the side effect of being poisonous themselves). Forest Unicorn bile is a flavor-er and can make anything it touches taste like strawberries, cinnamon and rotting flesh, for weeks at a time. The heart of a forest unicorn can be dried to create a pouch that bounces like a rubber ball and floats in water. Most other parts are useless. In order to hunt a forest unicorn, you must lure it to ca clearing with a human girl, which it eat. As it is eating, you can try to kill it. It has a heightened sense of danger, and will run away at the slightest bit of danger, so having prettier girls is better (to distract them more). If you and your hunting party are extremely good, the girl might even be saved. Please note that hunting forest unicorns is illegal and fines will be imposed on poachers. All forest unicorn products are illegal and non-trade-able. Forest unicorns are very deadly and love snaking on human flesh. With that thank you and have a nice day.

Jelly Voles

Do you want to eat a jelly vole? They are the next Swedish Fish. Almost as good, but way awesome-er. Buy some today.

The Wise Guy is sick

Just read the title. He is recovering from Ebola and should be ready to spread his wisdom in a few weeks. Thank you for supporting us and have a nice day