Hellhounds

Hello folks.  Its me, Greshkhan again.  And today I will be teaching about hellhounds.  Hellhounds are creatures not of this world, but of the Demon World.  They evolved from dire wolves that ended up in the Demon World when our worlds split some few million years ago.  As such they are not magic beasts like Jätte.  They are just the result of an evolutionary process.  Unfortunately for us the world they evolved from is much harsher and more magic filled then ours.  As such they are much fiercer, stronger, larger, smarter and more magic resistant then the wolves of our world.  They are usually about the size of large wolves or small horses, the largest subspecies can reach the size of large horses.  The coat of a hellhound is very magic resistant and it is almost impossible to kill a hellhound with magic.  Neither the Demons nor us Humans have managed to tame the hellhound, but the Demonking did manage to magically enhance one, making it larger (it is almost 1000lbs and is in a size proportional to this), smarter (it can speak various languages, including Old Norse), stronger (it is almost impossible to hurt) and fiercer.  This hellhound is currently in our headquarters (XXXXXXXX) and it took much effort to catch it, even resulting in ᛏ(TXX) having his right hand bitten off.  But this shouldn't concern you.  What should concern you is what to do if you meet a hellhound.  To put it simply you better pray that it doesn't notice you, isn't hungry, or is nice.  Or else you better have something to fight it with.  Your fists won't cut it out, as they can easily bite them off (Ask ᛏ about that), and then they can tackle you and eat you.  Having a weapon such as an axe (which is the best weapon by the way), spear or sword will be helpful.  Guns are extremely helpful when it comes to killing hellhounds, but arrows may not be enough to kill one, at least initially.  Luckily hellhounds usually do manage to wander into our world, and when they do they are usually killed either by us or by commoners who are fed up with the killings of their livestock and families.  Famous hellhounds include the Beast of Gévaudan, and Hróðvitnir.  Have a good day.

Post Election Analysis Revisited

So I was re-reading my post election analysis from November 2008, and realized I got a lot of things wrong.  For one, all the fascists stayed in America, or moved to France.  Secondly I don't think McCain has retired, and I don't think Bush is a motivational speaker.  I can't talk about the things that haven't happened yet, like the war with Germany, and I don't know who is running in the next election.  Also I said that Obama's approval rating would be in the 50s by the end.  Its already below that.  He definitely helped ruin the economy though.   And while he didn't choose Bin Laden for his Secretary of State, he sure came close.

3rd Anniversary

So I missed the Wyrm News's Third Anniversary.  I am somewhat annoyed by that.  In fact I am very annoyed.  So I am going to do something special very soon.

Happy Leif Erikson Day

Time to celebrate one of the many discoverers of America that deserves recognition, not the stupid Christopher Columbus.

Atlantis, Lost Civilizations, and more lies in the truth

I have heard many stupid things in my long life. Its one of those things that happen when you live for a few thousand years. While the ignorance about Stonehenge is one thing that annoys me, another one is the lies told about Atlantis.

To begin: Atlantis never existed. In our world that it. What it is simply the reflection of the largest city in the Demon World, Ghörhltæqhwihkhåððýfûq (literally Great City of Hothy in Archaic Eastern High Demon), in our world caused by an imbalance of magic between our worlds. When there is a large magical burst of energy there, the city seems to appear in our world, over the corresponding coordinates in our world, and it reflects until the magic dissipates (these magical bursts happen in other places too, but that is another story). This causes problems when people see the reflection and think it is real. And that is how Atlantis came into being. Yes, all the stories you have heard about Atlantis are false.

What about the other "lost continents" you might ask. Here is a rundown. Hyperborea and Thule are just other names for the various islands in the North Sea. Mu is a non existant and just a story. Good Ol' Lumeria suffers the same fate as Mu. Not everything is a lie though. The various ideas of Shambhala, Ergenekon, Shangri-La, and other such places were rooted in fact. This fact was the Morcanian (English transliteration for their culture) civilization.

While I could fill books about the Morcanians, in short they were the humans that interacted the most with the other worlds. They lived in what is now the Steppes of Mongolia and Siberia, arriving there around 42,000 BM (Before Mythos). They spoke a language related to modern Ket. They were herders and lived as nomads. One tribe, whom I will call the Morcanians nomaded themselves into a demon outpost around 30,000 BM. At this point the Demons had not organized themselves into civilizations and were living as tribes. The city of Ghörhltæqhwihkhåððýfûq was only a small farming village at this point and the Great Lord Apocalypse was only beginning his life. This outpost was simply a place were one tribe was watching for its enemies without realizing that they were in the wrong world. To make a long story short, this tribe was kidnapped and kept as hostages for the next 32,000 or so years. When they finally freed themselves and returned to our world (In 2321 JU (In the Year of Our Lord)), they brought with them the mystical bone of Terror and a dialect of the Northwestern Low Afrit language. They created two large cities once they returned to our world, both known for being far more advanced than any other. It was these cities that created our idea of an ancient, peaceful, technologically advanced civilization that eventually was destroyed by its pride. But that is another story, for another time.

International Elections, My Nomination

I am pleased to announce that I have been nominated to be the new dictator of the world. Please vote for me. Thank you.

International Elections Overview

It has come to attention that many people have not heard of the International Elections before. This is very sad, as they are not using their right to choose who will be mercilessly killing them over the next five year. So here is a general overview.

Every five year there is an international election during the month of December (Gregorian Calendar). During this time people can go over to the nearest electoral agency and vote for their candidate, or they can send in their vote through the mail. Anyone can run for the position of Ruler of the World by write in, but in order to be on the official ballot, you must: be at least 25 months of age; be able to speak English, Mongolian, Russian, and Mandarin Chinese; and have been in at least 35 different countries that are currently recognized by Ethiopia. If you fulfill these requirements, you can send a letter of intent to the International Board of Really-Important Elections (PO Box 56-345, Svalbard City, Svalbard). If your letter arrives before the last board meeting in November (Board meetings are the second Thursday of every month) then your application will be considered, and if approved by a 2/3 majority of the board, and 4/9 of the other attending people, then it will be put on the next ballot. And if you win, you are the head honcho for the next five years (inauguration is at 3:30 AM Greenwich Standard Time, in the Temple of Scarred Souls, on the First Saturday of February. The Reception is held at the nearby Big Cheese Palace).

Hope you vote. Thank you for your attention.

Settling In

Sorry that it has been so long. I was busy setting up a new base in South America, since its my new post. Don't worry, I am not abandoning New Sweden, rather I am more of building a summer home. New Sweden will stay strong and under my control. In other news; Are you ready to vote for the World Leader in the International Elections? Voting takes place between December 10th and 31st. Make your self heard.

Stonehenge- Not for the Druids

As the summer solstice comes around again, I think of my life's mission, to fight Demons. Its hard work and you don't really get a break. Sure there hasn't been a major invasion since the sixteen century (in Shaanxi, covered up as an earthquake), but they almost made it back in 1908, and they are still trying even up to today. But how does this relate to the summer solstice. The answer is Stonehenge. (People who showed up to my lecture don't need to continue reading).

Stonehenge is a cap on the weakest link to our world and the demons. So it was here that us Demonslayers decided to create the first seal on the demon world. That, and it was near where our home was. It was always a place where things happened, due to the high amount of magical leakage. The locals, had already started building things there. We demonslayers helped, and when it was done (some 2 million man-hours later, not to mention some women hours) we enacted the seal. Things were good. Then came the invaders. They spoke a funny language, some had red hair, and they were very violent. They realized that Stonehenge was important, but they didn't know why. So they had their druids go there, as they killed off my people. Now 3000 years later, the common people have forgotten about my people, and they seem to think that the Celts built it, and that the druids worshiped there. To make it worse, the modern druids aren't even close to the old druids. Where is the human sacrifice and the other sorts of stuff like that. So now you know why I hate druids. Because they stole stonehenge from me.

King Arthur

There is something I must admit. In case, you hadn't guessed, I am king Arthur, not John Timothy Rothwell. He is a retarded fraud. Now they have messed the stories up a lot, but overall, it is true. See, I am currently the oldest person from Britain. Which automatically makes me king. Not only that, but I am the king Arthur of Legend. Though my name at the time was Archer Urchin Pentadrakon, I don't know where they made the mistake. The reason I am finally revealing this is because England is almost at its time of Greatest need, in which I am supposed to Return from Avalon (which is actually the now lost city of Del Mokoniriwhe). So this way, somebody can tell me when the greatest need comes, and I can return without constantly watching the news. So remember to tell me and bye.