Well tomorrow is the election day in the Unites States of America, also know as the USA (or Unilateral Stickmen Anonymous). So here is my Pre-election analysis. John McMcain (Johannas McStikk) is leading in Utah. Barack Obama (He who houses terrorist sticks) leads in everything else. Ralph Nader (Loozerman) is running for the 62 time as an independent (random scream in the background). Bob Barr (13013~13@55) is ignored, as is his party the legalize-everythingers. Chuck Baldwin (Hi-yah Charlie) is the constitution party canidate. And the Greens have Cynthia McKinney (Not Ralph). The Vice Presidents are Sarah Palin (Kanyikay) for Johannas McStikk, Joe Biden (not-plumber-joe) for He who houses terrorist sticks, Matt Gonzales (Who is this Guy?), for Loozerman, Wayne Allen Root (Country Time) for 13013~13@55, Darrel Castle (Knight Errant) for Hi-yah Charlie, and Rosa Clemente (Pink Orange) as Not Ralph's veep. None of the other parties matter. Now for my fast paced predictions.
If He-who-houses-terrorist-sticks wins then New Sweden will be over run by racist, über-conservatives looking for a safe place from his evil, liberal views. America will be over run by Non-profits and Wall-e will come true. Israel will be wiped off the face of the Earth.
If Johannas McStikk get elected then he will
A-Nuke Russia, Iran, China, Mexico, Bulgaria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, New Sweden, France (Yes), Germany, Japan, Belarus, Australia, Belgium, Canadia, Panama, Georgia, Mongolia, West Virginia, California, Denny's, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Poland, Pakistan, Indonesia, Thailand, United Kingdom, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Iceland, Björk, Your house, Chicago, Iran, Cambodia, Laos, Malaysia, Brunei, Saudi Arabia, Mali, Ghana, Rwanda, South Africa, Syria, Venezuela, Brazil, Argentina, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Chile, Bolivia, Columbia, Kazakhstan, Portugal, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Iran, Oman, Yemen, Qatar, Kuwait, Alaska, Jordan, Egypt, Algeria, Russia, Azerbaijan, New Sweden, Jamaica, Cuba, Bermuda, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Hatti, Slovenia, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Romania, Moldova, Serbia, Kosovo, Montenegro, Bosnia and Hertsogovia, Croatia, Italy, Iran, Libya, Sudan, Botswana, New Zealand, Namibia, Mozambique, Angola, Ukraine, San Salvador, El Salvador, Nicaragua, (I move my hand away from the keyboard to reload the missile silos), Iran, Zambia, Democratic Republic of Congo, Republic of Congo, Peru, Ecuador, Antarctica, Madagascar, Equilateral Guinea, Papa New Guinea, East Timor, Japan, Burma, Singapore, Monaco, Malta, Ireland, Denmark, The Netherlands, Tanzania, Kenya, Fiji, Morocco, Vatican City, Chad, Iran, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Somalia, Bahrain, Armenia, Hungry, Liechtenstein, San Marino, Andorra, Maldives, India, Samoa, Tonga, Togo, Central African Republic, Burkina Faso, Turkey, Niger, Nigeria, Mauritania, Guinea, Swaziland, Lesotho, (I look up more countries) Senegal, Western Sahara, Burundi, Iran, Djibouti, Comoros, Malawi, Russia, Mauritius, Uganda, Zimbabwe, Seychelles, Cameroon, Gabon, Côte d'Ivoire, Tunisia, Namibia, Cape Verde, Guinea-Bissau, Pakistan, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Solomon Islands, Vanuatu, Middle Earth, Federated States of Micronesia, Kiribati, Nauru, Pulau, Tuvula, Iran, and any place I forgot to mention, but Israel and the United States of America.
Plan B- He-who-houses-terrorist-sticks becomes a sucide bomber and blows up Johannas McStikk. Then President Kanyikay will create a world government, make an allience with aliens and safely ship everyone of Earth before 12/21/2012.
Plan C- All liberals move to Canadia and get nuked. HAHAHAHA
If Loozerman becomes President a paradox will happen and the World will end 13 weeks 22 hours and 15 minutes early.
If 13013~13@55 becomes president then some idiot will move to New Sweden, sell me the keys to the US Armoury and me and 13013~13@55 will become friends. He will make sure the government won't intervene when America is invaded by Canadia, New Sweden, Russia, Mexico, and France at the Same time.
If Hi-yah-Charlie becomes president then America will be sucked into a black hole and the void will be filled by Mexico.
If Not Nader becomes president then Loozerman will suddenly suck out the life force of Not-Nader and morph into Dynamite Boy, the Crash Test dummy. It will be cool.
New Sweden endorses 13013~13@55 but prefers that you don't vote at all. Voting is bad you know.
This Post was sponsored by: People for Partisanship in Families and the National Mid-Western American Terrorist Farmers Council. Thank You and have a nice day.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
And now a message from our Sponsors
We have our first sponsors!!!!! They are the People for Partisanship in American Families (PPAF) and the National Mid-Western American Terrorist Farmers Council (NMWATFC). The PPAF will be sponsoring The Wyrm News For this post and the next post, while the NMWATFC is sponsoring the next 5 posts, including this one. Since we have nothing else planned, lets have some words from our sponsors.
We as the People for Partisanship in Families, believe it is important for people to hate each other just because they have different political views. That means that we think that you should teach your kids to be partisan today. Nothing makes us feel Happier than seeing little kids fight each other because their parents are voting for different presidential candidates. We believe that Partisanship, like racism and sexism, should start in the home. We also believe it is important to tell your kids to vote for people according to their party, not because of their stance on issues. We ask you to exercise your privilege to vote and vote for the candidate of the party you like more. You simply are Un-American if you vote for the issues. We think that everyone must be registered in a party and only vote for that party. We think that independent should be "rewarded" for their non-conformism with happiness for the rest of their life. So vote for the person your registered in your party on Tuesday. And Remember folks, it is good to bomb the houses of those who vote against your party, destroy and replace yard signs that are against your party, and getting drunk right before you vote. That's all we have to say.
The NMWATFC thinks that people should pay more attention to farmers. Farmers produce food you know But in recent times people have scorned the Farming life for the city. The city is a horrible polluted place where crime is abundant. But people still like that thing. They continue to mock farmers. They get thier high wages as doctors and lawyers and teachers, and then ignore us as we die toiling for them to get fat. So we had it. We want the government to give us more money and attention, Or we WILL BLOW UP THE CITY! KABOOOOOOOOOM! YEs we will blow it UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give us your support or we will kill you. Down with the rich and up with the farmers. Down with industry. UP with Food. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
We as the People for Partisanship in Families, believe it is important for people to hate each other just because they have different political views. That means that we think that you should teach your kids to be partisan today. Nothing makes us feel Happier than seeing little kids fight each other because their parents are voting for different presidential candidates. We believe that Partisanship, like racism and sexism, should start in the home. We also believe it is important to tell your kids to vote for people according to their party, not because of their stance on issues. We ask you to exercise your privilege to vote and vote for the candidate of the party you like more. You simply are Un-American if you vote for the issues. We think that everyone must be registered in a party and only vote for that party. We think that independent should be "rewarded" for their non-conformism with happiness for the rest of their life. So vote for the person your registered in your party on Tuesday. And Remember folks, it is good to bomb the houses of those who vote against your party, destroy and replace yard signs that are against your party, and getting drunk right before you vote. That's all we have to say.
The NMWATFC thinks that people should pay more attention to farmers. Farmers produce food you know But in recent times people have scorned the Farming life for the city. The city is a horrible polluted place where crime is abundant. But people still like that thing. They continue to mock farmers. They get thier high wages as doctors and lawyers and teachers, and then ignore us as we die toiling for them to get fat. So we had it. We want the government to give us more money and attention, Or we WILL BLOW UP THE CITY! KABOOOOOOOOOM! YEs we will blow it UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give us your support or we will kill you. Down with the rich and up with the farmers. Down with industry. UP with Food. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
My Vacation
I went to Hawaii. it was fun... Until the police came. So I hopped onto my plane and flew to Kansas. Kansas was not fun. The only reason I went to Kansas Was because I was speaking at the 27th National Mid-Western American Terrorist Farmers Council (NMWATFC). It was boring. The NMWATFC people thought I actually farmed. Just because I lived on a farm back before the demons came doesn't mean I know how to farm. It has been about 5280 Years since I did any major farming. A lot advances have been made in agriculture since than. The only good thing about it was I won a tractor with machine guns in a door prize. Than I got on my plane. Made a few stops to various cities, got my spies ready for Halloween, refueled and went home. Than I slept. Over all my vacation was okay. Now for some pictures.
That was one creapy rabbit. So I took a picture of it.
Never thought I could surf that well. Man that wave was small.
Escape to the Kansas
You know a place sucks when the women have mustaches and beards like that. This is the President of the NMWATFC
I won this!!!!!! Isn't it awesome.
That was one creapy rabbit. So I took a picture of it.Never thought I could surf that well. Man that wave was small.Escape to the KansasYou know a place sucks when the women have mustaches and beards like that. This is the President of the NMWATFCI won this!!!!!! Isn't it awesome.Epic 50th: 1/11/08
Today is my epic 50Th post. But will it be epic. We will just have to see. First up:
The letter of the day is Þ. the Þ is used in Icelandic. It is very cool. With it you can spell Þórr. What does that mean. you will have to find out.
The wise Guy is on Vacation. From the Himalayas he says "ஹாய் ய் போல்க்ஸ். இ லைக் த. "
Features:
I sent some spies to various parts of America Yesterday. Some of my spies in Cleveland uncovered the fact that Mayor Beryl E Rothschild has been trying to atone for the trouble that she caused last year. That trouble would be the fact that she stole candy from little kids, created a major supreme court case, caused a civil war, and then a war with Canada. Man she was one busy old lady. But the point is this Halloween my spy's reported that she was handing out candy. Clearly she is trying to get rid of that year old candy she stole last year. Congratulations to her.
Feature 2:
Today we will be starting a new semi common feature: Ask a Demon Slayer. It is an advice Column were readers send me their questions and i answer them. Just post your questions on this post or any Ask a Demon Slayer posts. Or E-mail them to me at my e-mail. you need to ask me for it first.
Feature 3: Disclaimer: This is a rant. If you don't like rants suck it up and take it like a man.
Canada should be spelled Canadia and be pronounced Can-Ay-Dee-Ah, not Can-Ah-Duh. Duh as in it is so stupid it is obvious. Canada should be changed to Canadia because there is a language called Kannada. There are 35 million native speakers of Kannada and only 33 m,illion Canadians. So Kannada gets the name. Also shouldn't inhabitants of Canada be called Canadans (Can-ah-Dins) as in they are a can of dins(n should be replaced with m), because Canada is a can of dim (inhabitants). So start petitioning the Canadian Government to change thier countries name to Canadia. It is better for the World.
Feature 4-
The map does lie sometimes. I tricked it so that it can't find me, New Sweden or any of my computers and other things like that. But It is useful. Like I learned that A man in Kurdistan read my post on Terrorism. I am not sure if that is good or bad. Also I learned if you google: Sweden's opinion on terrorism- The Wyrm News is Number 1. Yes!!
Main Feature: The Epic History of The Wyrm News, New Sweden and All that Matter: Part 1/36+- The Wyrm News Year 1.
The Wyrm News began on November First of 2007. It was started when I, the Benevolent Ruler of New Sweden, Head of the Demon-Slayers, Knight of the Golden Emperor, The Chicken Master of Old Beetrack, Assassin of Arch-Duke Ferdinand, the chief advisor to Alexander the Great, The real killer of Marcus Junius Brutus, Founder of Orban's Great Big Gun Co (c.1449), Great Keeper of the lost records of Pre-Romance Mongolia, etc etc etc. I decided that after ruling New Sweden for about 18 months, that the people needed a state run Newspaper. So I created one. It grew to have music, Pictures, scrolling messages, comments, polls, quotes, maps, more polls, more music, another comment, election reporting, links, flags, geckos, crime reporting, story arcs and more. Our most important story was on the King of Candy. But what should the Wyrm News do for the future. This was The Epic History of The Wyrm News, New Sweden and All that Matter: Part 1/36+- The Wyrm News Year 1. Yes wasn't it epic.
Well look forward to the New Wyrm News Stories. We hope to reach 150 post by this time next year. We want lots of comments, plenty of polls, Ask a Demon Slayer letters, and money. So help us. And apply for an interview sesion. Plus Mythos Wyrm Autographs are only $57.36 so buy one to day.
The letter of the day is Þ. the Þ is used in Icelandic. It is very cool. With it you can spell Þórr. What does that mean. you will have to find out.
The wise Guy is on Vacation. From the Himalayas he says "ஹாய் ய் போல்க்ஸ். இ லைக் த. "
Features:
I sent some spies to various parts of America Yesterday. Some of my spies in Cleveland uncovered the fact that Mayor Beryl E Rothschild has been trying to atone for the trouble that she caused last year. That trouble would be the fact that she stole candy from little kids, created a major supreme court case, caused a civil war, and then a war with Canada. Man she was one busy old lady. But the point is this Halloween my spy's reported that she was handing out candy. Clearly she is trying to get rid of that year old candy she stole last year. Congratulations to her.
Feature 2:
Today we will be starting a new semi common feature: Ask a Demon Slayer. It is an advice Column were readers send me their questions and i answer them. Just post your questions on this post or any Ask a Demon Slayer posts. Or E-mail them to me at my e-mail. you need to ask me for it first.
Feature 3: Disclaimer: This is a rant. If you don't like rants suck it up and take it like a man.
Canada should be spelled Canadia and be pronounced Can-Ay-Dee-Ah, not Can-Ah-Duh. Duh as in it is so stupid it is obvious. Canada should be changed to Canadia because there is a language called Kannada. There are 35 million native speakers of Kannada and only 33 m,illion Canadians. So Kannada gets the name. Also shouldn't inhabitants of Canada be called Canadans (Can-ah-Dins) as in they are a can of dins(n should be replaced with m), because Canada is a can of dim (inhabitants). So start petitioning the Canadian Government to change thier countries name to Canadia. It is better for the World.
Feature 4-
The map does lie sometimes. I tricked it so that it can't find me, New Sweden or any of my computers and other things like that. But It is useful. Like I learned that A man in Kurdistan read my post on Terrorism. I am not sure if that is good or bad. Also I learned if you google: Sweden's opinion on terrorism- The Wyrm News is Number 1. Yes!!
Main Feature: The Epic History of The Wyrm News, New Sweden and All that Matter: Part 1/36+- The Wyrm News Year 1.
The Wyrm News began on November First of 2007. It was started when I, the Benevolent Ruler of New Sweden, Head of the Demon-Slayers, Knight of the Golden Emperor, The Chicken Master of Old Beetrack, Assassin of Arch-Duke Ferdinand, the chief advisor to Alexander the Great, The real killer of Marcus Junius Brutus, Founder of Orban's Great Big Gun Co (c.1449), Great Keeper of the lost records of Pre-Romance Mongolia, etc etc etc. I decided that after ruling New Sweden for about 18 months, that the people needed a state run Newspaper. So I created one. It grew to have music, Pictures, scrolling messages, comments, polls, quotes, maps, more polls, more music, another comment, election reporting, links, flags, geckos, crime reporting, story arcs and more. Our most important story was on the King of Candy. But what should the Wyrm News do for the future. This was The Epic History of The Wyrm News, New Sweden and All that Matter: Part 1/36+- The Wyrm News Year 1. Yes wasn't it epic.
Well look forward to the New Wyrm News Stories. We hope to reach 150 post by this time next year. We want lots of comments, plenty of polls, Ask a Demon Slayer letters, and money. So help us. And apply for an interview sesion. Plus Mythos Wyrm Autographs are only $57.36 so buy one to day.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Vacation
This will be my last post for a while. i am going on Vacation to the Pearly sands of Hawaii. Yes it is in America but they won't catch me. Also I caught a Canadian Spy in the New Swedish Countryside. They must not have known that meese (plural of moose) donn't wear Canadian flags. But they might never learn. Also should I invade France? It wouldn't be that good of practise for my army but still would increase my territory. 
Friday, October 17, 2008
The Dutch, The Icelanders and Nuclear Proliferation: A rant in Verse
Read the Title. DON"T INSULT MY POETRY
Dutch
The Dutch are wierd
The Dutch are Hating America, with a beard(ed passion)
Yet Half of them want to live here
Now that is just so stranger
An Ode to Iceland
It is Greener than Greenland,
Colder than France
Has more geothermal power than Bulgaria
But its Economy is plumitin' Like Molgara
It bought up all the its banks
Its is secretly buying battle tanks
For when it turns to raiding
Like it did in the Good ole Days
Nuclear Proliferation (to be chanted with the leader Yelling lines A and the followers yeling lines B)
(A) Who's Afriad of Nukes
(B)Russia is.
(A)Who has a lot of Nukes
(B)Russia does.
(A)Who should be afraid of places like North Korea and Iran.
(B)The USAh
(AB)Not Russia
You know that was good poetry. Note USAH is pronounced Yoo-Ess-Ay-AH
Dutch
The Dutch are wierd
The Dutch are Hating America, with a beard(ed passion)
Yet Half of them want to live here
Now that is just so stranger
An Ode to Iceland
It is Greener than Greenland,
Colder than France
Has more geothermal power than Bulgaria
But its Economy is plumitin' Like Molgara
It bought up all the its banks
Its is secretly buying battle tanks
For when it turns to raiding
Like it did in the Good ole Days
Nuclear Proliferation (to be chanted with the leader Yelling lines A and the followers yeling lines B)
(A) Who's Afriad of Nukes
(B)Russia is.
(A)Who has a lot of Nukes
(B)Russia does.
(A)Who should be afraid of places like North Korea and Iran.
(B)The USAh
(AB)Not Russia
You know that was good poetry. Note USAH is pronounced Yoo-Ess-Ay-AH
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The Evils of New Sweden, Part 1
This is a list of things counted as evil in New Sweden.
Þ Penguins- They think that they are superior to other birds. Why else would they were tuxedos. Therefore they are elitist, and In New Sweden there is no elitism. For being evil, nothing about penguins may be published that includes movies and books, along with magazine articles and music, among other things. You may not dress up as a penguin or be anything like a penguin.
Þ Chocolate- Chocolate is adored by many. But it is from the Americas. And our Sworn Enemies, The United States and Canada, are on the American Continent. Therefore chocolate is our enemy. Punishment- For being Evil, Only chocolate that has clear proof that it was made from only African cacao beans maybe brought in or consumed in New Sweden
Þ Webkinz- Webkinz are stuffed animals. But they are bought so that you can play things online. Therefore Webkinz, rather than improving people's imagination, they decrease their imagination until the person's brain rots. Punishment- The Website is not allowed because it ruins minds. Anybody found on the Webkinz Website will be promptly reeducated.
Þ Burger King, Wendy's, Other Fast food restaurants (except for McDonald's)- These restaurants thinks they are better than McDonald's. McDonald's is the National Restaurant of New Sweden. That means that any competition will be harmful to McDonald's. PUNISHMENT- No McDonald's Competition may set up a shop in New Sweden. Nor may anybody bring an object from one of those restaurants into New Sweden.
Þ Parodies- Parodies can be funny. But they also can hurt peoples feelings. Therefore they are not nice and are evil. Punishment- Nobody may parody or be parodied. If you parody the government it will be even worse.
PArt two comes later.
Þ Penguins- They think that they are superior to other birds. Why else would they were tuxedos. Therefore they are elitist, and In New Sweden there is no elitism. For being evil, nothing about penguins may be published that includes movies and books, along with magazine articles and music, among other things. You may not dress up as a penguin or be anything like a penguin.
Þ Chocolate- Chocolate is adored by many. But it is from the Americas. And our Sworn Enemies, The United States and Canada, are on the American Continent. Therefore chocolate is our enemy. Punishment- For being Evil, Only chocolate that has clear proof that it was made from only African cacao beans maybe brought in or consumed in New Sweden
Þ Webkinz- Webkinz are stuffed animals. But they are bought so that you can play things online. Therefore Webkinz, rather than improving people's imagination, they decrease their imagination until the person's brain rots. Punishment- The Website is not allowed because it ruins minds. Anybody found on the Webkinz Website will be promptly reeducated.
Þ Burger King, Wendy's, Other Fast food restaurants (except for McDonald's)- These restaurants thinks they are better than McDonald's. McDonald's is the National Restaurant of New Sweden. That means that any competition will be harmful to McDonald's. PUNISHMENT- No McDonald's Competition may set up a shop in New Sweden. Nor may anybody bring an object from one of those restaurants into New Sweden.
Þ Parodies- Parodies can be funny. But they also can hurt peoples feelings. Therefore they are not nice and are evil. Punishment- Nobody may parody or be parodied. If you parody the government it will be even worse.
PArt two comes later.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
IQ Test
I took a stupid online IQ test today. It gave me an extremeely low score of 153. I know my IQ is much higher than that. It is probeley in the 1500s, to be modest. 
Free-IQTest.net - Free IQ Test
Free-IQTest.net - Free IQ Test
Monday, October 6, 2008
Classified
Should the Wyrm News have advertisements. Or sell tee-shirts and coffee mugs. Give me your fundraisng thoughts. I really need to know since the Wyrm News has been running out of funds, even with our massive oil tanker capture. None of that money went to the Wyrm News's budget, just to the common people. o please send me your ideas your donate money to the Wyrm news. And you can buy advertising space in one of the ads that I wil now place in the article. Sometimes they will be scrolling, other times images, you never know.
Oil
Last week our economy soared with a raid on a Norwegian Oil tanker. With the profits made from the oil, people got bonuses and I bought a new couch for my palace. But that is not the piont. The point is Why don't people protect their valubles better. Our Small task force took out the driversw and guards so easily it wasn't funny (to them at least). You would think that whith all this oil these rich companies would spend a little more money to protect their goods from poor people who need money to feed their familes. But it is thier fault they let people take their stuff. I like my new couch it is comfortable.
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