Post Election analysis

We Wrongly reported Ralph Nader won the American Presidental Election. It was actually Barack Obama. We regret the error.

Now the for the analysis. This was a great win for the commies... I mean Democrats. New Sweden is getting prepared for an influx of immigrants, to the last somewhat conservative outpost in Europe. I guess New Sweden is Conservative. But they could go to Africa or Asia, but they are just a bunch of racist bigots, so they come to good 'ole Nordic Sweden. America will be bankrupted by Barack Obama, and everyone will hate him. His approval rating will be in the low 50s by the end of his term. John McCain will retire and sell some books. George Bush will be a motivational speaker at rehab centers, telling his story of his rise out of alcoholism and cocaine addiction to becoming the president of the Unilateral Stickmen Anonymous. Ralph Nader will run for the 2012 election as an independent. John McCain will not die in the next four years. Barack Obama will choose Osama Bin Laden to be his Secretary of State. His reason will be simply, Our names sound alike. Sure. In 2012 the main parties will send out Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber (for the fascists) and the commies will present the incumbents. Ralph Nader will win. He will be 78. Germany will declare war on the United States in 2011. Barack Obama will use his terrorist connections to take over Germany and he will install the Fourth Reich. Not Vampyres. Man I wanted Vampyres to install the Fourth Reich. Also I think the Voters of Unilateral Stickmen Anonymous made a bad choice. They made a good one in 2000 when they traded a pot head for a coke head. But they had to ruin it and trade the coke head for a pothead, not a meth head or heroin head. Bad trade. Canada will be invaded by the Unilateral Stickmen Anonymous Army. France will be invaded by default, of course. It always manages to be invaded. France sucks.

This post was sponsored the NMWATFC- Give us your money... AND YOUR BAG PIPES!!!!! It was also sponsored by Orban's Big Gun Co. - A helpful note to Prospective Costumers... Buy up our guns before the Enemy does.

Pre Election Issue

Well tomorrow is the election day in the Unites States of America, also know as the USA (or Unilateral Stickmen Anonymous). So here is my Pre-election analysis. John McMcain (Johannas McStikk) is leading in Utah. Barack Obama (He who houses terrorist sticks) leads in everything else. Ralph Nader (Loozerman) is running for the 62 time as an independent (random scream in the background). Bob Barr (13013~13@55) is ignored, as is his party the legalize-everythingers. Chuck Baldwin (Hi-yah Charlie) is the constitution party canidate. And the Greens have Cynthia McKinney (Not Ralph). The Vice Presidents are Sarah Palin (Kanyikay) for Johannas McStikk, Joe Biden (not-plumber-joe) for He who houses terrorist sticks, Matt Gonzales (Who is this Guy?), for Loozerman, Wayne Allen Root (Country Time) for 13013~13@55, Darrel Castle (Knight Errant) for Hi-yah Charlie, and Rosa Clemente (Pink Orange) as Not Ralph's veep. None of the other parties matter. Now for my fast paced predictions.

If He-who-houses-terrorist-sticks wins then New Sweden will be over run by racist, über-conservatives looking for a safe place from his evil, liberal views. America will be over run by Non-profits and Wall-e will come true. Israel will be wiped off the face of the Earth.

If Johannas McStikk get elected then he will
A-Nuke Russia, Iran, China, Mexico, Bulgaria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, New Sweden, France (Yes), Germany, Japan, Belarus, Australia, Belgium, Canadia, Panama, Georgia, Mongolia, West Virginia, California, Denny's, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Poland, Pakistan, Indonesia, Thailand, United Kingdom, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Iceland, Björk, Your house, Chicago, Iran, Cambodia, Laos, Malaysia, Brunei, Saudi Arabia, Mali, Ghana, Rwanda, South Africa, Syria, Venezuela, Brazil, Argentina, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Chile, Bolivia, Columbia, Kazakhstan, Portugal, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Iran, Oman, Yemen, Qatar, Kuwait, Alaska, Jordan, Egypt, Algeria, Russia, Azerbaijan, New Sweden, Jamaica, Cuba, Bermuda, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Hatti, Slovenia, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Romania, Moldova, Serbia, Kosovo, Montenegro, Bosnia and Hertsogovia, Croatia, Italy, Iran, Libya, Sudan, Botswana, New Zealand, Namibia, Mozambique, Angola, Ukraine, San Salvador, El Salvador, Nicaragua, (I move my hand away from the keyboard to reload the missile silos), Iran, Zambia, Democratic Republic of Congo, Republic of Congo, Peru, Ecuador, Antarctica, Madagascar, Equilateral Guinea, Papa New Guinea, East Timor, Japan, Burma, Singapore, Monaco, Malta, Ireland, Denmark, The Netherlands, Tanzania, Kenya, Fiji, Morocco, Vatican City, Chad, Iran, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Somalia, Bahrain, Armenia, Hungry, Liechtenstein, San Marino, Andorra, Maldives, India, Samoa, Tonga, Togo, Central African Republic, Burkina Faso, Turkey, Niger, Nigeria, Mauritania, Guinea, Swaziland, Lesotho, (I look up more countries) Senegal, Western Sahara, Burundi, Iran, Djibouti, Comoros, Malawi, Russia, Mauritius, Uganda, Zimbabwe, Seychelles, Cameroon, Gabon, Côte d'Ivoire, Tunisia, Namibia, Cape Verde, Guinea-Bissau, Pakistan, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Solomon Islands, Vanuatu, Middle Earth, Federated States of Micronesia, Kiribati, Nauru, Pulau, Tuvula, Iran, and any place I forgot to mention, but Israel and the United States of America.
Plan B- He-who-houses-terrorist-sticks becomes a sucide bomber and blows up Johannas McStikk. Then President Kanyikay will create a world government, make an allience with aliens and safely ship everyone of Earth before 12/21/2012.
Plan C- All liberals move to Canadia and get nuked. HAHAHAHA

If Loozerman becomes President a paradox will happen and the World will end 13 weeks 22 hours and 15 minutes early.

If 13013~13@55 becomes president then some idiot will move to New Sweden, sell me the keys to the US Armoury and me and 13013~13@55 will become friends. He will make sure the government won't intervene when America is invaded by Canadia, New Sweden, Russia, Mexico, and France at the Same time.

If Hi-yah-Charlie becomes president then America will be sucked into a black hole and the void will be filled by Mexico.

If Not Nader becomes president then Loozerman will suddenly suck out the life force of Not-Nader and morph into Dynamite Boy, the Crash Test dummy. It will be cool.

New Sweden endorses 13013~13@55 but prefers that you don't vote at all. Voting is bad you know.

This Post was sponsored by: People for Partisanship in Families and the National Mid-Western American Terrorist Farmers Council. Thank You and have a nice day.