Let us be Klipspringers

An ode to Klipspringers:

Paching, dading.

Watch the mighty Klipspringer Spring

Rock to Rock,

Spock to Spock,
He is not good to mock.

Pigs Can Fly!!!!! And Other Bits'o'Logic

Lets prove that Pigs are birds.
Given: Ostriches are Birds
Prove: Pigs are birds

1- Ostriches are birds- Given
2- Ostriches can't fly - Known Fact
3- Pigs can't fly- known fact
4- Ostriches are pigs- Transitive Property (a=b, b=c, a=c)
5- Pigs are ostriches- symmetrical property
6- Pigs are birds- substitution property.
We have proven pigs are birds. Next prove pigs are a national bird.

1- The pig is a bird-see above
2- Eagle is the national bird- Known fact
3- The Eagle is a bird- known fact
4- The Eagle is a pig- transitive property
5- The Pig is an eagle- Symmetric Property
6- The Pig is a national Bird- Transitive Property
So Know we know the pig is the national bird of America. Therefore the Pig is a symbol of America. Therefore Americans are pigs. Congratulations Americans. And yes I passed Geometry.

Next some things to think about.
If a cheeto is made of cheese and cheese can make cheese nips, can a cheeto make cheese nips?
How much ground could groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?
Shouldn't groundhog day be called woodchuck day?
Why is don't we call them groundchucks or woodhogs?
Is the Earth really flat?
Why am I awesome?
What is the fee for awesomeness and attractiveness?
What did the ignoramus hippopotamus say to the bus full of pus?
What did the cucumber say to tomato?
Why should you expect the unexpected if it won't be unexpected if it is expected?
How can a vampire be both hot and cool?
Who is she that sells seashells by the seashore?


Just some thoughts.

Ask a Demon Slayer #1

Here it is. I had so many great questions that it was sad I could choose so few to answer.

Dear Deamon Slayer-
I love you. I love you so much I love you. I cannot think what it is like not to love you. I love you more than Chuck Norris. That is how much I love you.
-Lovestruck

Dear Love Struck-
Get your head out the clouds. I don't even know who you are. So do something useful and join the army. We love our volunteers.

Dear Mythos-
How come you get an e-mail and everything while I am stuck rotting in a hut in the middle of Tibet?
-Crynearg

Dear Crynearg-
Hi. It isn't my fault you drew the Popsicle stick that said- Middle of the Himalayas. It was luck. You are better off than Annawyn- she is stuck in Canada. Man it sucks to be her. Also don't use our true names in public letters. It changed them when I saw what you did but be careful.

Dear Demon-Slayer-
Can I have your autograph?
-A cool dude like you
Dear Fat guy like Titan-Slayer-
Sure. I have autograph sessions at my palace every full moon from 6-9Pm. See you there.

Dear Demon Slayer-
I have a proposition to make. Start using the English mode of Tengwar for all offcial business. It will keep things secret.
-Legolas
Dear Orlando Bloom-
Maybe.

Dear Demon Slayer-
I hate you.
-Froggy
Dear Froggy-
Did you know I eat frog legs for breakfast. They taste good, you should try tsometime.

Dear Demon Slayer-
QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM. HAHHAHA!!!!!!!!
~WRFDS
Dear Idiot-
Quit annoying me. I told you at my last autograph session I do not accept checks for my bribes. A little cash is fine though.

Dear Ugly Butt-
You are under arrest for terrorism. We have troops surrounding your palace as you read this. You will be brought to justice for your atrocities.
-Barack Obama
Dear He-who-houses-terrorist-sticks-
You aren't president yet. Plus I received this letter last week. You need to learn who to keep up with your threats. Plus what Atrocities have I committed? Was it not endorsing you for the election. Man you want to follow in Bushiee Boy's footsteps. See you at the world leaders barbecue next week.

Man, I need a new way for choosing which letters to answer. Pulling them out of a hat doesn't work. Send in your new letters. Due date will be announced later.

Wiki

Should I make a New Sweden wiki? You know it would be awesome. And if I do, what should it be hosted on. Also, due to the amount of negative comments have received I will reveal the answers to the riddles.
Riddle 1- Mythos Wyrm
Riddle 2- You
Riddle 3- Someone who is annoying someone who needs to pee
Riddle 4- Miley Cyrus :Þ. Actually it is ... Bill Clinton!!!!!!!! Or is it Queen Isabella. Maybe it is Genghis Khan. But no it is actually Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty, Or The Wicked Witch, Or Cinderella, or Bella (the dog), but it is actually Cookie Monster.
Riddle 5- A Nuclear Meltdown
Riddle 6- These Riddles
Riddle 7- PalindromeemordnilaP
Riddle 8- France
Riddle 9- Goo Gone
Riddle 10- Janus, the God of Doors.

Titan-Slayer has -1 points. Beat that.

THE-ES MEENS WOR

The Werm Nus has deeclaird wor on Weekeepeedeea.h The-es is beekahze they keep on reeplaysing The Werm Nus for the Number won spot for the sirch "Sweden's Opinion on Terrorism". The-er meens wor. Let us destroy weekeepeedeeah and bring Nu Sweeden to Powair. Now for saum annoying tipin. Dadadadadaddadadadadadadadaddadadadadadadadadadadadadadd
I am the Spammer!!!!!!!!!! Grigorizy Blashnoek. HahAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Who am I?

Here are some riddles. For each correct answer you post, you gain 1 point to your WyrmNewsGamingAcountOnline. Each one wrong you lose one point. You only gain a point if you are the first one that is right. Lets get started.
Riddle 1
I am he who sleeps so others may rise,
I am he who lives while others die
All the fish of the sky and the birds of the sea
are endebted unto me.
I am all that glitters gold
A fact told known from a sign untold
All the land of this universe
thinks of me as one great curse
The great mountains of old
look down upon me, like i was foot mold
Those who once were pleased,
don't even give me a sneeze
My life would be done
if I could live, less than the sun.
Who I am?

Riddle 2
Fat, stupid, ugly, dumb,
but a worthless bum
My years are gaining
as is my waistline
And Christmas is almost here
The mirror is my enemy
Medusa lost the Ugly Contest to me
Who am I?

Riddle 3
Swoosh, woosh, drip drop
paddle paddle, woof woof
rushing down the water fall,
running down the massive hall
Great thunderstorms in the sky
raining down like a mooson
Waterfall, River, Pond Lake
Stream, Brook, Creek, Canal
Bog, Swamp, Marsh, Puddle
All of life is a muddle
Flush, Woosh, drip drop
What am I?

Riddle 4
Mirror Mirror, on the wall
Whose the fairest of them all?

Riddle 5
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!

Riddle 6
What gets worse with everyone you see?

Riddle 7
When "rats live on no evil star"
I am: "too hot to hoot"
What am I?

Riddle 8
They lost to Italy
They lost to Germany
They lost to Mother nature
They lost to Britian
They lost to Algeria
They lost to Everything else
Be man, cat, boat, rat
dog, frog, hog, log
Who are they?

Riddle 9
Egg Nog
it is wonderfulific
or just horrific
What is it?

Riddle 10
I am the Entrance and the exit
the first and the last
the maker of decisions,
the beginning and the end
Then my empire died and I was forgotten.
Who am I?

The horse and the little old lady

There once was a horse. A little old lady saw it. She was 106, 4'2'', weighed 78 lbs, was named Edna, could speak fluent Bulgarian, and had her first heart attack when she was 14. When she saw the horse she exclaimed," Oh my. It is an Equus caballus. I will now rode3 it." So she sat on the horse. By the way, the horse was blue, ate fried chicken, took on dump a day, could do a handstand, and was 36 years old. The horse, who was named fred, suddenly died.
Edna had a heart attack at died the next millisecond.

What did that mean? It meant don't submit a bad story. Also letters to the Demon Slayer are due tommorow.

Post Election analysis

We Wrongly reported Ralph Nader won the American Presidental Election. It was actually Barack Obama. We regret the error.

Now the for the analysis. This was a great win for the commies... I mean Democrats. New Sweden is getting prepared for an influx of immigrants, to the last somewhat conservative outpost in Europe. I guess New Sweden is Conservative. But they could go to Africa or Asia, but they are just a bunch of racist bigots, so they come to good 'ole Nordic Sweden. America will be bankrupted by Barack Obama, and everyone will hate him. His approval rating will be in the low 50s by the end of his term. John McCain will retire and sell some books. George Bush will be a motivational speaker at rehab centers, telling his story of his rise out of alcoholism and cocaine addiction to becoming the president of the Unilateral Stickmen Anonymous. Ralph Nader will run for the 2012 election as an independent. John McCain will not die in the next four years. Barack Obama will choose Osama Bin Laden to be his Secretary of State. His reason will be simply, Our names sound alike. Sure. In 2012 the main parties will send out Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber (for the fascists) and the commies will present the incumbents. Ralph Nader will win. He will be 78. Germany will declare war on the United States in 2011. Barack Obama will use his terrorist connections to take over Germany and he will install the Fourth Reich. Not Vampyres. Man I wanted Vampyres to install the Fourth Reich. Also I think the Voters of Unilateral Stickmen Anonymous made a bad choice. They made a good one in 2000 when they traded a pot head for a coke head. But they had to ruin it and trade the coke head for a pothead, not a meth head or heroin head. Bad trade. Canada will be invaded by the Unilateral Stickmen Anonymous Army. France will be invaded by default, of course. It always manages to be invaded. France sucks.

This post was sponsored the NMWATFC- Give us your money... AND YOUR BAG PIPES!!!!! It was also sponsored by Orban's Big Gun Co. - A helpful note to Prospective Costumers... Buy up our guns before the Enemy does.

Short story Contest

The Wyrm News Will be having a short story contest. Stories must be shorter than 23,546 pages long and are due by December 1, 2008. Also Due Date for the First sk a Demon Slayer is Friday November 14, 2008. Thanks. And to lighten up your mind abnoput that evil election
Change is Nader in the Office. Vote For Change- The McBama Way
Do You owe your life to Nadar? Probably.

This article was sponserd by the National Mid-Western American Terrorist Farmers Council. We want your money.

And the winner is...

Today is a momentous day in history. Ralph Nader aka Loozerman won the United States Presidential Election. It means he is the oldest person to become president, the one who try ed the hardest and the First Independent. JA!!!! So pack your bags and start partying. JA!!!!!!!!!
JA!!!!!!!!!!!! JA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




This article was sponserd by the National Mid-Western American Terrorist Farmers Council. We want your money.