New Sweden on... War, POWs, POW Rights, and Terrorism

Welcome to the first edition of New Sweden on... Today we will discus New Sweden's opinion on various aspects of war. First we will begin with our opinion of Prisoners of War.
The Encyclopedia New Sweden (which is slowly being added to the internet) defines a Prisoner of War (POW) as a member of a national or otherwise official military organization captured in uniform by an opposing forces. This means that if a scout, infantry member, pilot, sailor or other uniformed member of a military if caught must be treated as a prisoner of war but a spy or even one of the aforementioned units with out their uniform on may not be treated as a POW. Also the organization they are a member of must be officially recognized by us as New Sweden or by the United Nations. This means that rebels, freedom fighters, terrorist, PETA members, Political Cartoonists, and more need not be treated as a POW if captured.
Now onto POW rights. According to New Swedish law a prisoner of war may not be tortured above the Peaceful level of New Swedish Torture Scale (see encyclopedia New Sweden). They also must be fed well, properly cared for, and have bargaining talks with their home country. Of course if a certain POW is unruly, ungrateful, hard to control, is spying and/or breaks other rules a certain amount of times they can be labeled as unstable and be treated differently. Unstable and non-POWs can be tortured to a level Hard and might only be given 1 meal a day, bad living quarters, little medical care, no talks with their countries, being forced to be in a work camp and more. The difference between unstable POWs and non-POWs is unstable POW can be redeemed and become a normal POW.
Finally I will talk about terrorism. The Encyclopedia New Sweden defines terrorism as an act of violence or terror for political or idealogical reasons. Terrorists in New Sweden, if captured are not treated as POWs. See the Encyclopedia New Sweden for more details.

The Wyrm News: Comic Relief Edition

We have decided that we have been too serious. That is why today we will have an issue just to lighten up our day. First up is some sample headlines:

• Massive Army Attacks New Swedish base and captures Grand Emperor to take him away to be tortured by corrupt officials attempting to take over the world through use of the evil weapon known as the United Nations. (oh wait. That happened.)
• Bhutanese Scientist creates and army of Chuck Norris clones and attempts to overthrow the King of Nepal but is stopped when his nuclear reactor had a meltdown.
• Barney the Dinosaur was murdered in a gang-fight on the streets of Beverley Hills.
• Aliens invade New York city, rename it New Puttsburg and start a pizza chain.
• Cat marries dog, then is shot on honeymoon by a robotic assassin following the religion of Froggerism, who was hired by Mr Barney, who was killed in a fight only hours later. (Barney that is).

Now time for a picture

And now some qoutes: Note we don't agree with all of them but they are still funny:Þ (thanks amusingqoutes.com)

• We’ve all met people who are supposedly incredibly intelligent but don’t know which way to sit on a lavatory. -- Stephen Fry
• Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. -- Mark Twain
• Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. -- Benjamin Franklin
• Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. -- Benjamin Franklin
• A man explained inflation to his wife thus:'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.' -- Lord Barnett
• As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it. -- Sam Ewing (Readers Digest, Dec, 1997)
• Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. -- J. Paul Getty
• Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. -- Ronald Reagan
• Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo. -- Bill Maher
• Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. -- P. J. ORourke
• The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back! -- Will Rogers
• One of my movies was called "True Lies." It's what the Democrats should have called their convention. -- Arnold Schwarzenegger
• Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material. -- Dave Letterman
• [On his running for California Governor]It's the most important decision I've had to make since 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax. -- Arnold Schwarzenegger
• My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference. -- Harry S. Truman (circa 1962)
• Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. -- Robert Louis Stevenson
• A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. -- H. L. Mencken
• You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. -- Milton Berle
• The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order. -- Brian Pickrell
• There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. -- Frank Zappa
• The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits -- Albert Einstein
• Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -- Albert Einstein
• How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg. -- Abraham Lincoln
• History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. -- Napoleon Bonaparte
• Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal. -- Demetri Martin
• Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. -- Bill Cosby
• Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you. -- Ray Romano
• Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off. -- Ralph Bus
• The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. -- Quentin Crisp
• Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. -- Demetri Martin
• It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. -- Muhammad Ali
• In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues. -- Helen Rowland
• You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. -- Chris Rock
• A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. -- Jerry Seinfield
• People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. -- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard

So hope you laughed smirked or at least thought something was funny. You id right.

Massive Cobra eats 273 people before being shot in the Head by a 4 month old Superhero Shotgun Master!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just Kidding. :Þ

The Grand Watermelon Toss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here Ye all citizens of the Glorious Country of New Sweden. On June 19, there will be a festival held at the base of Mount Wyrm, starting at 9:00 AM. There will be food, games and contests with prizes. To be in a contest you must enter in it before June 16. The contests will be: The Watermelon Chuck, for who can throw a watermelon the farthest; the watermelon throw, for most accurate watermelon thrower; the the watermelon fling, in which teams will assemble siege weapons and awards are given for the farthest and the most accurate; the Bush Punch-Out, where people are competing to be the first person the destroy a statue of George W Bush; and many, many more. Sign up today at your local movie theater, police station, or post office.

Photo Gallery of my ordeal

Two wonderful artists took it upon themselves to record my ordeal in Art. Here are the works of art.

The American Forces: by- Flame

The Swedes: By Flame and Flare

The Torture Chamber: by- Flare

The escape: By-Flame and Flare

An overview of My adventure

Finally I am back from that horrible prison cell. It has been only two days since I arrived back at palace. It all began on February 23 when a group of 32 helicopters was seen on the distance. Behind them was a fleet of aircraft carriers, battleship, Patrol Boat and more. There must of been hundreds of ships. I readied my army and soon the forces landed. There was an impressive battle but the American forces prevailed, not because of skill but because of numbers. They took me away to the United Nations Military Compound and Torture Facilities. There they tortured me five hours a day and seven days a week, trying to get me to admit that New Sweden was making nuclear weapons. I never gave in because New Sweden wasn't making nuclear weapons, so I wouldn't be lying. I stayed there until eight days ago when some Fijians felt sorry for me and helped me escape to Fiji where i got a plane ticket to Helsinki. Then I hiked to Jakobstad, Finland where some of my army arrived to help me ecape to New Sweden where I restored my rule. I will get revenge.

Operation: Nhämnd

Today was a momentous day in history. In retaliation to the United States attack on Mount Wyrm we sent a "diplomatic' force to the American Embassy in Stockholm to show that they cannot attack without major consequences. Our specially trained Berserker army did well. The embassy is now in lock down. Basically we sent an army to the Embassy. Once they reached it they attacked it. Nobody was hurt but next time there might be more blood. Americans beware. Don't let your government do something stupid like this again. Ever again. Or there will be blood.

Kosovo: Why We Support It

As you might have heard Kosovo has declared it's independence from Serbia. This has created mixed reactions throughout the world, with countries having to decide whether or not to support Kosovo. Here in New Sweden we support Kosovo. We believe that It deserves to have freedom from a country that has, for the most part, different religions, ethnic groups culture and more. We also do not care what Russia think about all of this. The only Russians we have respect for are various ethnic groups, some dead Russians, and the inhabitants of Vladstokengrad. We don't care if Russia nukes us because both it and UN recognize us as part of Sweden. Finally places that want to be countries but aren't have a bond together, just like us an Vladstokengrad or Western Borkastinia. Thats is why we support Kosovo, even when it means agreeing with the Americans.

The United States Attacks

Today the Untied States of America, attacked the Läger av Eld in New Sweden. They came in three helicopters, each filled with 18 troops, a pilot, and a co-pilot. One helicopter successfully landed it's troops through use of a ladder. Then it got shot down by an AA gun while the other two were latched onto with grappling hooks, while attempting to flee. The American troops on the ground fought bravely but were all easily killed by the Elit Bevakning. Then the Elit Bevakning climbed up the half-foot diameter steel fiber ropes that connected the grappling cannons mounted onto the ground to the helicopters. Once they reached the helicopters the Elit Bevakning attempted the capture the helicopters. One helicopter was successfully captured after all the Americans were killed. The other had to be evacuated and blown up. All the American bodies were sent to the United States Embassy in Stockholm. The casualties were -1 helicopters for the New Swedes and 60 men for the Americans (plus three lost helicopters).


The Elit Bevakning is also known as the Elite Guard. You can learn more about them When the ENCYCLOPEDIA New Sweden comes out.

The Basher of Western Borkastinia

Today a statistic hit the unofficial country of Western Borkastinia. 516 people were killed by a mysterious killer. It was a peaceful day at a market in the capital city, Termiz. Then suddenly a M1 Abrams tank came crashing through the market, running over goats, chickens, people, monkeys, stands etc. From this alone 456 people died. Which is surprising considering that the streets were packed like sardine tins with people, stands, and animals. You know it looked like the stereotypical Middle Eastern Bazaar. When the tank finaly came to a screeching halt a man jumped out and started to bash people in the head with a baseball bat. One hit hit and their brain would be crushed and they would die. After he killed 20 people like this a helicopter flew overhead. It lowered a rope to about 30 feet above the ground. The man jumped up, caught the rope and climbed to the oped side door of the helicopter. He then shot a rocket down, which killed 40 people. The door closed and the helicopter flew away. Eyewitnesses say he looked like this. =====================================================>
West Borkastinia is a primarily Sunni country located in northern Afghanistan, and southern Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, and Tajikistan. It is called Western Borkastinia because it's founders claim that parts of Pakistan and China are also part of Borkastinia, but they have only freed the western part.